Conan O’Brien ripped into NBC execs during his Tonight Show monologue on Monday, after days of tense negotiation about his future in late night TV.
Conan, 46, walked out to hearty applause, reports Radar Online, only to set the tone of the evening by saying, “Ladies and gentlemen, please — you keep that up, and this monologue won’t start until 12:05. And then where would we be?”
The comedian joked about being the new host of Last Call With Carson Daly, before mentioning an earthquake struck California that “was so powerful, it knocked Jay Leno’s show from 10 o’clock to 11:35.”
He continued: “Everybody wants to know what my plans are; everyone’s asking me — all I can say is, I plan to keep putting on a great show night after night, while stealing as many office supplies as humanly possible.
“I’m going to rob this place blind. I got 10 cartridges of toner shoved in my pants
right now — just jammed down there.”
Despite rumors that he’s fielding offers from Fox, Conan quipped that he may “leave television altogether and work in a classier business with better people — like hard-core porn.”
Meanwhile, his competitor Jay Leno gave his bosses the same treatment, joking, “I leave NBC prime time the same way as I found it. A complete disaster.”
He opened his Jay Leno Show monologue saying, “As you know, we’re not just a show anymore, we are now a collector’s item; our show has been canceled. Fired again!”
He sounded bitter when he observed, “NBC said the [prime-time] show performed exactly as they expected it would, and then they canceled us.
“When we were on late night, we performed better than expected, and they canceled us. That was totally different.”
Referring to the problems created for himself and Conan, Jay said, “NBC said they wanted drama at 10; now they got it.”