Courtesy of MTV
Courtesy of MTV
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Teen Mom ex-pat Amber Portwood shocked everyone when she voluntarily chose a five-year prison sentence instead of rehab this spring.

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Amber, who is mom to 3-year-old Leah, is currently serving her sentence at the Rockville Correctional Facility in Indiana and took some time out to chat with Dr. Drew for the MTV special, Amber Portwood Behind Bars.

The troubled reality starlet found herself with a laundry list of drug charges and told Dr. Drew being locked up for half a decade was the only way she could envision getting clean.

“When I was in treatment, I wasn’t getting anything out of it,” she said. “I was still doing drugs, I moved to harder drugs. I'd be chewing a [Fentanyl] patch [a pain killer] when I went to [do a urine drug] screen. I couldn't live my life like that at 22 not giving a f***k. I knew I was going to die. Nothing mattered to me."

Clearly very much in love with her daughter, Amber is quick to point out that just because she can't physically be with Leah, doesn't mean the toddler isn't in her thoughts.

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"It’s not that you don’t love your child," she said. "You’re a very selfish person when you’re on drugs. I feel like she’s forgetting about me…I feel like [Leah] would have had a lot more resentment against me if I kept going the way I was…I care a lot more now."

"I’m not as angry, not as depressed," she adds. "I value my story a lot and I have a lot to give. I still have a lot to learn, but I have a lot to give, too.”

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