David Letterman was on vacation from the Late Show with David Letterman last week, but while he was gone a radical extremist made a threat against him. So what did David do now that he’s back on the air? Make jokes about threat, of course.
“Tonight, you people are more … than an audience, tonight,” David said in his opening monologue on the Late Show with David Letterman. “You’re more like a human shield.”
“You’re not going to believe what happened. A guy, a radical extremist, threatened to cut my tongue out,” he explained to his audience. “I wish I had a nickel…for every time a guy has threatened to cut…”
And he can remember a time a similar threat was made against him.
“I think the first time was during the Academy Awards,” he recalled. “During the Academy Awards.”
“State department authorities are looking into this. They’re not taking this lightly,” David explained. “They’re looking into it. They’re questioning, they’re interrogating…there’s an electronic trail. But everybody knows it’s [Jay] Leno.”
Watch a clip of David’s opening monologue and check out his “Top 10” list, below!
But David didn’t stop there.
For his top ten countdown he read off the “Top 10 Thoughts That Went Through My Mind After Hearing About the Threat.”
10. “Someone wants to silence me? Get in line.”
9. “Nothing says summer fun like a death threat.”
8. “Why is the staff in such a good mood?”
To hear the rest, watch the video over at CBS.com!