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OK!‘s Joyce Eng is out in Mexico this week (lucky wench!), so the TV Fanatic is taking a stab at the HIMYM recap (Joyce, forgive me!).

How I Met Your Mother
: “The episode starts off with a gratuitous shot of Robin’s boobs (I guess they need a new way to get ratings since Britney Spears isn’t on, though we hear she’ll be back). Robin’s all glammed up because her teenage crush from Canada is coming to town, and it’s none other that Dawson Leery! We get treated to a whole scene of guest star James Van Der Beek and Robin speaking in thick Canadian accents, eh! Years back, Dawson dumped Robin for Louise Marsh, even after Robin loaded all his band equipment into his van, because Louise’s parents had just put in a pool. Rule no. one of dating: Never do any heavy lifting for a man, girl! Now it’s time for successful Robin to one-up him.

Dawson arrives at the bar with a paunch belly and receding hairline; he’s working at the local splish-splash (which almost gets a point from Marshall, until he finds out it doesn’t have a wave pool) and living with his mom, but Robin is still all giggles. Marshall has a name for her behavior: revertigo, which he demonstrates by suggesting Lily call up her high school pal Michelle. Turns out when Michelle, a beautiful black girl, and Lily start hanging, their language gets a little urban-licious, compete with head rolls, some "uh-huhs" and a, “girlfriend, can we get our drink on now” vibe. (We later learn that Michelle is a brilliant grad school student and it’s actually Lily who brings it out in Michelle!) We learn that Dawson and Robin met while shooting her second video as teen singing sensation Robin Sparkles. Barney vows to find the video, if it’s the last thing he ever does.

Despite the groups pleas that Robin stay away from Dawson, she’s back to being that lovestruck teen, and falls for Dawson’s ploy when he asks her out on a date. But he’s only doing it to get his band, the Foreskin’s violent-laced lyrics on the news broadcast. After Robin sits through an ear-splitting set and loads up the equipment, Dawson dumps her again, in the same van, for the same reason. Oh, hell no! Revisit Rule no. one of dating, Robin. And why is Louise still living with her parents?

Robin’s nursing her woes at the bar when Barney arrives. He reminds her that her past is just that, and she really has become an awesome person. Robin rewards him by inviting him back to her apartment. Now we’re being set up to believe they are going to get it on, but in reality, Robin invited Barney over to watch her Robin Sparkles video “Sandcastles in the Sand,” complete with cameos by fellow Canuck Alan Thicke and ‘80s teen sensation Tiffany. Barney’s in awe as they watch it over and over again. And then HIMYM throws us for that loop because Robin and Barney do wind up making out. How is the group going to handle that one? Well, now Ted can turn the tables and torture Barney, constantly reminding him that he was the first to climb Mount Robin…” – TV Fanatic

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