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10:58: Could it be? The show is over? And on time? It can’t be!!

10:57:
Mad Men wins Outstanding Drama! It’s the little show that could. And more importantly, we get another one right!!

10:56:
The final award!!

10:54:
Finally time for Best Comedy Series… The winner is: 30 Rock! We get another one right!!

10:53:
I think she called Betty "internally golden" — does that mean she has jaundice?

10:52:
Someone get Mary Tyler Moore a sandwich. Now.

10:51:
We’re almost there… Just a couple more…

10:50:
And the anticlimactic award of the year goes to Jeff Probst.

10:49:
This has dragged on way too dang long.

10:45:
ugh.

10:44:  And the winner for "person who stands around and kicks people off reality shows," is…

10:43:
Jimmy Kimmel is back. Fantastic.

10:42:
We got the Tina Fey win right, which means we’re back to batting .500.

10:41:
Lead Actress, Comedy winner is… Tina Fey. Not as shocking.

10:40: Is Craig Ferguson drunk? No, he’s just Scottish.

10:39:
Bryan Cranston wins!!! What an upset!

10:38:
Looks like Kiefer is out of jail. Ain’t that sweet?

10:37:
Alright… Let’s get this party finished, shall we?

10:30:
Time for the in memoriam portion of the show. Bring out the tissues, dear.

10:28:
Glenn Close wins! We picked another one!

10:28:
It’s America and a former Miss America! And they didn’t say anything?? Something’s wrong with the sound.

10:27: Hooray! Alec Baldwin wins!! We love Jack Donaghy!!

10:26:
Finally. Something good. Lead Actor in a Comedy is…

10:25:
Candice Bergen still looks exactly like she did on Murphy Brown. How’s that work out?

10:24: Paul Giamatti actually wins! I guess they didn’t see Lady in the Water.

10:23:
The longest commercial break of the night… snore.

10:17:
Still got lots to go. Anyone want to take bets on how late the show runs?

10:16:
And the Emmy for Drama Series Writing is… Mad Men.

10:15:
House wins for some directing thingy. And the world continues to nap.

10:14: More dang directing awards. Can’t they hand these out earlier?

10:13: Cynthia Nixon is wearing a bath towel.

10:11:
Kate Walsh is apparently a robot.

10:10:
Don Rickles wins!!! I want to have his babies. The didn’t care rush him off the stage.

10:09:
I’m confused. They said they were remembering some producer guy and then went on to list nominees.

10:08:
Kristin Chenoweth is fun-sized.

10:06:
More than 2 hours in and not many water-cooler moments yet. Not a good sign.

10:03:
Tom Hanks is now America’s greatest historian.

10:01:
Sally Field presents Outstanding Movie or Miniseries to… (you’ll never believe it), John Adams. Which means, of course, that Paul Giamatti won’t win.

10:01:
I am now joining the Don Rickles fan club.

10:00:
The Amazing Race wins its 11 billionth Emmy for Best Reality Program or whatever it’s called.

9:58:
I don’t think Don even knows what reality TV is. And I love him even more.

9:57:
Don Rickles basically tells the Emmy writers they stink. And I love him for it.

9:56:
Which one is Don Rickles and which one’s Kathy Griffin?

9:55:
Outstanding Actress in a Miniseries or Movie… Goes to Dame Eileen Atkins for a movie no one ever saw.

9:54: A MASH clip to introduce Sandra Oh and Patrick Dempsey? That makes sense.


9:53:
Howie Mandel reminds us he used to do something other than tell hot women to open up suitcases.

9:49: John Adams (the miniseries, not the president) wins again. The winning writer just got cut off by the preview of upcoming presenters. Once more — that’s very classy of the Emmys.

9:48:
And now it’s writing for something or other.

9:47:
Recount wins again. And the crickets around the world chirp louder.

9:47:
Great. More directing.

9:46:
I believe Colbert just called McCain a "dried-up old fruit."

9:45:
Stephen Colbert is eating prunes on live TV. Amazing.

9:45:
Tom Wilkinson for John Adams! Not exactly a shocker.

9:44:
And the winner for a Supporting Actor in a Miniseries is…

9:43:
Is Laurence Fishburne trying to blend in with the background?

9:42:
A Dragnet reference — another one for the kids out there in the audience.

9:40:
By my count, there are still 12 more awards (not including whatever random trophies they decide to hand out) before we call it a night.

9:37:
Recount! Because we need more reminders of the horrible 2000 presidential elections.


9:37:
And the winner for TV Movie is…

9:36:
Christian Slater and Christina Applegate. What a cute couple.

9:35:
Nothing connects us like TV? Have you ever tried super glue?

9:34:
Is he going to start telling us about the PBS pledge drive?

9:33:
Did anyone else notice that Martin Sheen said to "vote at least once"?

9:32:
Uh-oh… we’re getting political. That doesn’t usually go well. The West Wing wasn’t partisan? Say what?

9:31:
Their choices for classic shows to highlight seems kind of arbitrary. The West Wing? I guess so…

9:29:
Supposedly, we’re halfway through the ceremony, but… not so much.

9:25:
And I was completely wrong. Tina Fey wins… again.

9:24:
I’m guessing The Office will win the writing award…

9:23:
Barry Sonnenfeld, who hasn’t directed anything worth mentioning since Men In Black, just won for Pushing Daisies, a show no one has ever seen.

9:21:
Great… More directing awards. Just what this fast-paced evening needed — more deadwood.

9:19:
From Laugh-In to Lauren Conrad. Talk about shifting gears.

9:18:
The Daily Show just won something. What, I don’t know, because that entire previous sketch was more bewildering than a Bulgarian soap opera.

9:17:
Substances were definitely involved in whatever we just watched. Unfortunately, I think that substance was Geritol.

9:16:
Does ANYONE have any idea what the heck is going on?

9:15:
First the Smothers Brothers and now this? Apparently the Emmys demographic is older than we’d thought.

9:14:
Someone please sock it to whomever thought this was a good idea.

9:13: 
That was a looonggg ad break.

9:08:
And the Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie is… Laura Linney! Abigail Adams would be proud.

9:07:
Yay! Alec Baldwin!!

9:06:
I just aged 10 years in the 6 minutes it took Josh Groban to ruin TV themes forever.

9:06:
Stop.

9:04:
Ohmigawd. He’s still singing. Did we do something to deserve this?

9:02:
Josh Groban singing a bunch of TV themes. I understand WHY someone thought it was going to be funny, but… yet, it’s not.

9:00: One hour down. 35 to go.

8:56:
Truth is… That this Emmys is moving slower than a drunk slug.

8:55:
Tom Smothers drops the first uncomfortable political bomb of the night.

8:54: Wow… Tom Smothers. The kids at home must be going wild.

8:53:
Are awards ceremonies required to be bloated and slow? Is there a tax break for wasting everyone’s time?


8:52:
Looks like we got about half of each.

8:51: Which Steve Martin will we get: The funny one or the one who writes for the New Yorker?

8:50:
Those are some sexy accountants. Meow.

8:49: Who looks more uncomfortable: Jeff Probst or Howie Mandel?

8:47:
And the winner is… Does it really matter? The nominees list was funnier than anything these guys have written in years. I say give the award to Dr. Phil. In case you actually care, The Colbert Report won.

8:45:
Jennifer Love Hewitt and Hayden Panettierre (or however you spell it) presenting a writing award of some sort… time to refresh your beverage of choice.

8:44:
Dianne Wiest! We picked that one!! Redemption is ours!

8:42:
And the winner for Supporting Actress in a Drama is….

8:41:
Remember when The Simpsons were funny? And nice did by Conan on Katherine Heigl.

8:37:
Wow… that award and speech was bizarre and irrelevant.

8:36:
No offense to the nominees, but who cares about Directing for a Variery, Music or Comedy Program?

8:34:
Ricky & Steve Carell should just go on tour together.

8:31:
I was right — Ricky’s the funniest thing yet tonight.

8:30:
Maybe Ricky Gervais could add some humor to this blah blah night.

8:29:
Zeljko Whatshisname?? Our pick was Shatner, so once again we were wrong. But who cares. That guy with the unpronounceable name just won! How cool.

8:28:
And the Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama series is…

8:27:
Suddenly Desperate Housewives is a TV classic worth showing a clip of? That’s news.

8:26:
Could Heidi’s arms be any skinnier?

8:26:
Did you enjoy your snack break? I did. On with the show.

8:21:
Christina Applegate looks fantastic sitting in the audience as the orchestra rushes Jean off mid-speech. Ain’t that classy.

8:20:
Jean Smart! We’d said Vanessa would win, so we’re batting a not-so-impressive .000 right now.

8:19:
And the Supporting Actress in Comedy winner is….

8:19:
Julia Louis-Dreyfus looks like she’s wearing pink Saran Wrap!

8:18:
If I wanted to watch Seinfeld clips, I’d be tuning into TBS right now.

8:17:
Is that supposed to be the Seinfeld diner? That’s the best they can do?

8:16:
Back from the first pee-break and ready for this night to get more interesting in a hurry.

8:12:
It’s amazing — Jeremy’s hair keeps getting thicker and thicker as he gets older. How does he do that?

8:11:
Jeremy Piven for the third time in a row! OK! had picked Neil Patrick Harris, so we’re 0 for 1 — not good so far.

8:10:
Tina Fey & Amy Poehler presenting Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series. And the winner is…

8:09: Good to see that Heidi has no problem flashing the flesh for ratings…

8:08:
Finally, Shatner to save the day!

8:07:
Is Heidi that tall or are all men in Hollywood that short?

8:06: The reality hosts are really pushing this "We have nothing" bit. It wasn’t that funny two minutes ago.

8:04:
Who’s the hot blonde guy in the suit? Oh — that’s Heidi Klum.

8:03:
Is it just me, or is something wrong with Oprah’s voice?

8:02:
Oooh… It’s Oprah…

8:01:
TV’s top stars reciting TV’s most memorable lines… The Baldwins made me laugh… a little

8:00pm:
Okay, so the Jimmy Kimmel pre-ceremony thing is over. This can only be an improvement.

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