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Paris Hilton Explains it All

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Oct. 9 2009, Published 1:00 p.m. ET

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Paris Hilton is a truly a doll when she hits the red carpet Thursday for the opening of Carnival located inside NYC’s Bowlmor Lanes. She’s glamorous, pretty, charming … and even poses with a one-year-old monkey named Bentley, who is stationed beside me. (His fingers are so human, it’s crazy. It’s almost like standing next to a one-year-old baby.)

She riffs on Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Jon Gosselin, David Letterman and Jessica Simpson’s pet loss.

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After photogs shout “don’t block the beauty” to the hangers-on hindering their view, polite Paris swings over to say a few words while boyfriend Doug Reinhardt enjoys the chocolate cannolis, cotton candy and candy apples covered with chocolate and M&Ms, awaiting inside.

“We’re really happy,” she says. “It’s going to be a lot of fun. I love playing games where you can win the big, giant teddy bears and toys. And I love the dunk machines. It’s fun to dunk someone in the water. I think he’ll win some presents for me, too.”

The heiress, 28, who made her name with the 2003 reality show The Simple Life co-starring Nicole Richie, no longer keeps close tabs on her onetime BFF.

“I have no idea,” she tells me when asked how Nicole is doing post-accident. And no, she hasn’t seen her newborn son Sparrow. “I’ve been traveling so much, I haven’t even seen my own family, except my sister had her birthday the other night. So I’ve been traveling around the world.”

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What does she think of the David Letterman situation – how he admitted to doing the deed with many staffers while he was involved with now-wife Regina?

David’s adorable,” she says airily. “I love him.”

And what about how Jon Gosselin has said he’s more famous than her?

“I don’t even know who he is,” she says with an eye roll.

Hm, is she still friends with Lindsay Lohan?

Paris tsks, and makes a face as if to sarcastically say “yeah right!” when the publicist won’t allow her to answer.

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But the dog lover turns soft when asked about Jessica Simpson’s devastating pet loss.

“Oh, it’s so sad. I hate coyotes. They’re evil creatures.”

Wow. Paris is much sweeter than I expect. She thanks a reporter who tells her she looks beautiful, and departs pleasantly.

“Nice to see you girls,” she says.

Party time! Armed with a yellow envelope stuffed with drink and game tickets, we elevator up to the Carnival dreamland complete with a sword-swallower, contortionist and even spot our monkey pals. Oh, and there’s Paris and Doug nestled in the VIP area.

The pool tables are the only typical feature of this lounge which includes a casino-style bar and carnival-style games such as “Put A Ring On It,” “Crazy Hats,” “Fish Pong” and “Dunk Tank.” And about those prizes? Get ready for huge, stuffed characters of Bart Simpson, Cookie Monster, Barney and Spongebob Squarepants.

Good times. I can’t wait to go back.

Carnival at Bowlmor Lanes is open now.

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