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With Twilight pandemonium at its pinnacle, satirical voices at The Onion have decided to take a humorous jab at the chaos in the form of a video parody! 

So what’s the biting tone of the video?

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The Onion is “reporting” that The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has confirmed that a terrorist attack on the nation’s capital has been canceled because it posed too great a threat to Twilight author Stephenie Meyer, who was “doing a book signing at the local Target.”

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The safety of Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner is also addressed in the humorous video.

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Watch the clip entitled, “Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation’s Capitol To Spare Life Of ‘Twilight’ Author.”

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