OK!‘s Joyce Eng and Derek Ivie break down your fave shows of the night!
Gossip Girl: “You know any episode that starts with a burlesque show is going to be packed with action. Dan and Serena kick it off with lots of PDA that eventually leads to them circumventing the topic at hand – sex. Kids these days, they move so fast. Haven’t they only been together like three weeks? Come on, wait a full month! Serena’s all horny and surprisingly didn’t come off as a slut, which is commended on both the writers’ parts and Blake Lively‘s. Dan is a nervous wreck as he is a virgin, once declaring he was keen on waiting because “sex is art.” Gag. He conducts research through porn and online “sensuous massage” instructionals and hilariously daydreams of taking pointers from Serena and Nate. The two get interrupted a few times, including by Vanessa, who needs to go away, like now. She just bugs me; she needs to get over losing Dan. Dan finally sets the mood by dumping his football sheets and Cedric, his Cabbage Patch doll, and lighting a crapload of candles, but the two end up cuddling, which is adorably sweet. On the other side of town, Nate’s troubles continue as his mom refuses to believe his father is the cokehead. The truth comes out after daddy decks his own son outside the Waldorf dinner party, conveniently in front of cops. It turns out druggie dad was also an embezzler! Scandalous! Speaking of scandalous, Jenny – who later in the episode tries to bring her mother home – confesses Nate’s secret to Blair, leading her to drop his ass and seek refuge at Victrola, the aforementioned burlesque club, which Chuck pitched to his dad to invest in. Challenged by her bow-tie bud, Blair takes the stage and seductively vamps it up, stripping down to her naughty negligee. That’s not the hottest part of the show though – that honor goes to the final limo scene, in which Blair and Chuck get it on! These two have amazing chemistry and are strangely hot together. The scene, shown 30s movie reel style, was titillating. What made it better was Chuck asking if she’s sure. For someone who was basically a rapist in the pilot, this move spoke volumes about him and how he felt about Blair. How’s that for character development?” – Joyce
America’s Next Top Model: “We join the lovely ladies in their eco-van as they make their way back from elimination. Bianca can’t help, but rub it in Ambreal‘s face that she got a second chance because Ebony asked to leave the competition in the last episode. Back at the house Bianca decides that she is going to hate on Heather because she thinks that she, Heather, doesn’t have to try in her photos. Jenah defends Heather and Bianca thinks that everyone babies her because of her disability. In reality Bianca is just up to her old tricks! She is obviously so insecure in herself that she needs to lash out at everyone else. Let’s be real, she is bald, for one, AND the back of her head goes right into her shoulders! Take a look next time and you will see what I mean! Sarah is really insecure about her body… out of nowhere. Here we go again! The girls are then trained by Tyra to be sexy, but not hoochie sexy! They learn to be coy, to be sexy against the wall, and then they also learn to clean the floor with their knees, umm I mean stalk like a puma, umm I mean crawl seductively? Whatever they learned they learned from the master! My favorite part of the night was when the Tyra mail came and Heather was standing there staring at the envelope. It looked so natural until I realized it was her waiting for the producer’s cue to call the other girls. Either way it was still funny! It turns out there is no photo shoot this week, just a video shoot with “international recording star” Enrique Iglesias. In reality he had no idea what was going on and was just super excited about his vampire video! The girls had to use all of the things they learned with Tyra in the shoot. Heather was chosen for one of the two main parts, but then later on faints because she hadn’t eaten since breakfast. After some oxygen, water and a banana she was fine. At the end of the day Sarah was eliminated because she was neither fit or fat she was just “normal”! She was really upset and started hysterical crying. I don’t think Tyra was too excited when Sarah wiped her tears all over her shoulder. Tsk tsk! Sarah was the best plus-size girl yet, too bad!” – Derek