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OK!’s Joyce Eng and Derek Ivie break down Wednesday night TV!

Gossip Girl: “Raise your hand if you missed Chuck! Granted he
wouldn’t really have fit in with any of the storylines, but I suppose I didn’t
realize how much I adore him until he was MIA. I am thankful that he will
return next week. Speaking of thanks, Thanksgiving took place in GG world and
we get a double dose of them with flashbacks of Turkey Day yesteryear
juxtaposing that of the present. In 2006, Dan saves alkie Serena from becoming
cab roadkill, who spends the day sobering up at the Waldorfs, where she, Nate
and Blair engage in a showerfest (clothed). This year though, she gets
disinvited after calling Blair out on Chuck and suggesting she did it for
revenge. Stranded for Thanksgiving dinner, the van der Woodsens stroll Chinatown
(why wasn’t I there that day?!) for duck because Chinese food makes for great
turkey substitue and besides, as Lily puts it, “Jews have been doing it on
Christmas since forever.” Dan invites the trio for dinner at his place,
unbeknownst of the torrid past between his dad and Lily. After incessant
prodding from Dan, Lily relinquishes and goes to dinner, excited to see Rufus,
but that bubble was burst once she sees Allison. They try to keep the triangle
a secret until Lily’s ranch story outted them — she had a horse named Rosewood,
which was a tune Rufus claimed to have written for Allison, who completely
loses it and leaves. She comes back in the middle of R & L’s convo about
their lusty dinner party kiss and presents her hubby with an ultimatum — me or
her. Woman needs to calm her ass down. Wasn’t she upstate having wild sex with
their neighbor not even a month ago? Hypocrite. Dan, Jenny and Eric all ponder
the possibility of being related when Serena re-enters with Blair, who spots
Cedric! Yes! What an adorable Cabbage Patch Kid! S had to fetch B after her
purge relapse, brought on by her cold-hearted bitch of a mother who told her
estranged and gay hubby not to return to spend Thanksgiving with his daughter.
In the end though, mommy and daughter have a heart-to-heart and Eleanor admits
they’re getting a divorce. As for Nate, boy finally comes into his own and
takes matters into his hands after daddy ODs, landing in the hospital, and his ass-tastic mom is still
delusional about the whole situation. Someone please smack her.” — Joyce

America’s
Next Top Model
: “So the day has finally come…I had been dreading it since the
beginning. We all knew it was going to happen, but we didn’t know when.
Heather, I am holding back tears, is… I can’t so this… she has… vanished
from the end picture! TYRA GAVE HER THE BOOT! Although let’s be real, she
deserved it.  The girl can’t speak without zoning out into another
dimension. When we first join the girls they are laying around yelling at
Heather to not worry so much. Jennah is worried that she will never be bubbly
like Saleisha ’cause that ain’t the type of girl she be! They end up having the
go-see challenge.  Saleisha kisses ass the whole time, Jennah gives
everyone attitude, Chantal just stares drooling as usual, Bianca smiles and
does the pouty face a lot, and Heather wanders around China looking confused
and knocks bikes over.  Saleisha and Bianca are the only two who make it
back to the agency on time.  Later on Bianca wins and sees her face on a
floating billboard for the 2008 Olympics.  It was pretty sweet.  The
photo shoot is exactly the same as the Bollywood shoot in Cycle 5.  The
girls have to stand out in a crowd and work it! Nigel is their photographer and
Jennah lays the sarcasm on thick.  I thought we were going to have a
repeat of the Caridee stick incident at the bull shoot.  At judging the
judges think that both Heather and Jennah lack in the personality department
and Heather goes home… now who is going to be the Cover Girl of the Week?
 Probably Bianca… She might win! Oh and the girls are going to Beijing
next week. Peace out Shanghai!” — Derek

What did you think of last night’s lineup?

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