Wednesday Night TV Roundup

Gossip Girl: “Bitchy high society grannies were just what I needed this week. It's time for the annual Cotillion Debutante Ball and Serena could not be more disinterested, but Granny CeCe is not going to have any of that. Feigning a grave illness, she convinces Serena to go. Problem is, iron-hearted CeCe won't have Dan "Charity Case" Humphrey escort her granddaughter, instead inviting reformed bad boy Carter Baizen (Sebastian Stan) to woo Serena. After failing to scare Dan off, CeCe tries to bribe Rufus by offering to buy all of Alison's paintings. He tells her Humphrey men can't be bought, and she agrees and tells him van der Woodsen can be as years ago, she made Lily choose between him and her inheritance. But money can't buy you love! Angered, Rufus informs Dan of CeCe's shenanigans. Dan goes and tells Serena that granny ain't all that she's cracked up to be and she asks him to leave, winding up with Carter as her escort. When she learns her introduction speech has been altered to be more rich-girl appropriate, Serena switches it to read she aspires to "bed as many millionaires as she can." Lily meets up with Dan to mend CeCe's damage, telling him he's a good and right guy for his daughter with a tinge of regret in her eye while Serena confronts her grandmother who tells her she isn't sick (even though she really is!) before Dan comes and sweeps his gal off her feet. His dad tries to do the same – sort of – to Lily, calling her to gush "I never should've let you let me go." How Hugh Grant romantic comedy of you. Is your heart trembling? No? Well, Alison's probably is – from Jenny's bitchiness and absence from her opening. Woman's probably sorry she came back, brushed off by her kid and her hubby too as it now seems. As for the hottest couple on the show, their brief flame burnt out for now after Chuck, pissed that Blair wants to go to the ball with Nate, tips off to Gossip Girl (and Nate) that Blair’s newest conquest is Carter. Determined to reclaim what was rightfully his first, Nate knocks out unsuspecting Carter at the ball, leading Blair to figure out Chuck's devious theme. She dumps him and runs into Chace Crawford's lips. Nate gives Chuck a smarmy “I’m gonna tap this” nod as they move into the bedroom. And Chuck? The light packer takes off. You can come to me! – Joyce

Project Runway: “Oh, the fashions of yesteryear. You know I had to peek into my closet to see what was still hanging in there. Overalls. Check. ‘70s Flare. Check. Pleather? Well, if I can make it look like the real thing. The contestants are broken up into teams of three, which never bodes well for the designs, but does great for personal drama. Ricky, Elisa and Victorya team up. Victorya doesn’t want to be team leader, so Ricky takes the job, buut she sure is bossy for someone who’s not the boss. Definitely a case of, “I’ll share in the glory if we win, but I’m not going to be the fall guy if we blow it.” Ricky calls her on it, even if it’s just to the confessional camera. And he winds up saving her butt. Nicer than most, if you ask me. Steven pairs up with Sweet P and the ever-lovable Chris. They can’t figure out how to make their three dreaded fashion faux-pas gone by work together, so they get a lot of bland beige fabric and make designs that don’t really mesh in any fashion. Steven called it when he said he was worried: his team and Ricky’s were in the bottom two. In the end, Chris got sent home. Too bad. I was so waiting for a challenge where they had to make an evening gown out of dried seaweed or something like that. With his theatrical background, he would have totally rocked it.” – TV Fanatic

America's Next Top Model: "The girls get back from elimination and read a letter from Heather. Heather writes that she didn't get friends, she got a bunch of nasty bitches that didn't understand her. Just kidding! She actually said that they were more like her family rather than her friends. Bianca starts ripping Heather apart. This is the start of Bianca's "hate on everybody tirade." That's what I like to call it. The ladies pack up and head to Beijing. There they learn the legend of the four princesses. They were so beautiful that one made flowers jealous, the other made swans stop flying and so on and so forth. Their challenge has the final four trying to update the ancient gowns that the four princesses wore. They had an hour to run around a mall and then they had to do a runway show. Jenah won which is nice because Bianca lied and sent her to the other side of the mall where there were no stores. Not only did Jenah win a couture dress, but for the first time in Top Model history she was able to have some one-on-one time with Miss J. He calls it "J-Tips." The girls head to their photo shoot atop the Great Wall of China. Tyra was their photographer as they played Mongolian warriors trying to scale the wall for battle. Thanks for the history lesson Tyra! We discover that Jenah has lost who she is as a person and Bianca is still too stiff. The girls also shoot a photo together to see who stands out the most. At the judging Chantal is complimented for always having such a positive outlook, which was sweet justice since earlier in the episode Bianca tore her apart for her vibrant look on life!) Chantal wins the group photo and is called first, followed by Saleisha who the judges feel has made her way into the high fashion world. Bianca is sent home because she doesn't have the natural ability to model like the other girls do. So the negative nelly that is Bianca is gone! Is anyone else surprised that Chantal is still there? She flew right under the radar! Let me know what you think!" – Derek

Private Practice: “Is it just me, or does anyone else think it’s a little icky that everyone in Oceanside Wellness Center wants to sleep with one another? There’s only six doctors there – what happens when they run out! That said, I’m in love with Dell. Yep, it’s true. How can you not love a guy who worries about his pop pop’s welfare, though grandpa was off doing his own version of geriatic Fight Club. Gramps said it gave him something to still care about, which prompted Dell to lay a wet one on his more-than-a-crush dream gal Naomi. And that prompted Sam, who resisted the urge to punch Dell after he admitted to Dr. Bennett he was in love with his ex-wife, to kiss her for all to see. Yes, confusing, but so incredibly delicious! Addison and Pete decided to be friends, and Pete even encouraged her to date hunky Officer Nelson, but then realized that he wanted to fight for her himself. Now that Cooper’s getting it regularly from Dr. "I’m always in control" King, he ain’t got time for best friend Violet. Oh goodness, please do not let her call up Grey’s Anatomy's Izzie for advice on how to deal with your best guy friend being in love with some other woman! And how cute that the couple who couldn’t have sex were back at the clinic to have a baby. They were willing to go the distance, with Jeffrey extracting his one viable sperm to mix with Kathleen’s fertile egg. It’s always nice to see that some relationships truly are a fairy tale, even if it’s just on TV.” – TV Fanatic