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On today’s episode of Anderson, Anderson Cooper‘s 87-year-old mother Gloria Vanderbilt sits down with her son and speaks openly and candidly about the day her son Carter committed suicide.

Carter was 23 when he jumped off the balcony of their New York home.

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“You never ever get over it, but you learn to live with it,” Gloria shared with Anderson. “There was a moment when I thought I was going to jump after him, but then I thought of you… and it stopped me from doing that.”

Reflecting on his brother’s death is also a very emotional process for Anderson, who becomes choked up during the intimate interview.

“There’s this word closure they’ve spoken so much of today and there is never closure on something that happens like this,” his mother added of Carter’s suicide.

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“When I hear people on TV use that word it’s like a TV word,” Anderson said.

Catch the clip, via Anderson, below.

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