Bachelor Doesn't Take A Bride

The sexiest Bachelor to date might have to get used to a few new names. Bad Brad. Noncommittal Brad. Two-faced Brad. Gutless, heart wrenching, diamond ring snatching Brad.

And my mother came up with those.

We can thank The Bachelor's Brad Womack for one thing. We won’t be forced to watch interviews from a perplexed TV insta-couple who will break up six months from now. Last night on The Bachelor finale, no. 11 dumped both his final ladies. Jenni and DeAnna bared their hearts and souls, only to have Brad pocket that engagement ring and tell them both to get to stepping.

It all started off so nicely. Brad dutifully brings DeAnna and Jenni home. Mom approves of DeAnna, right down to the amount of children she wants to have with Brad (three, just like his mom!). DeAnna finally lets a little bit of that manipulative guard down to show she’s really in love with Brad. Then it’s onto Jenni, and while mom also has good vibes for the peppy dancer, she’s feeling DeAnna more. Knowing that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, DeAnna whips Brad up some lasagna and logically lays out her feelings and their future. She seems to think she’s got it in the bag as Brad tells her she would make a great wife and mother. And so did I after seeing Jenni break down and practically beg Brad to marry her. Ladies of The Bachelor take note: he NEVER picks the girl who begs. There’s got to be a chase.

The girls glam up for their final meeting with Brad. Jenni’s first and it’s no surprise when he sends her packing. Then it’s DeAnna’s turn. She’s all smiles as Brad reveals he’s sent Jenni home. He goes on to say that because he believes he will only marry once (dramatic pause as he stomps around the garden tugging at his collar), it won’t be to DeAnna since he doesn’t truly love her. Damn! DeAnna rightfully reverts back to her calculating way as she coolly asks Brad, "What happens when you regret your decision?" Thank god Brad didn't reply, "Maybe I'll try again on The Bachelor: Round Two?"

Brad will have to justify his lack of action tonight when he confronts the women he left at the altar on The Bachelor: After the Final Rose, airing Tuesday, Nov. 20, at 10 p.m. on ABC.