'Dancing With the Stars: All Stars' Recap: A Bummed Out Bristol Palin Walks Out!

Score: 8, 8, 8 = 24 out of 30

Gilles Marini & Peta Mergatroyd

Song: “Sweet Dreams” by The Eurythmics

Gilles really didn’t want to take on a dance from some one competing this season so he chose Erin Andrews’ tango from Season 10. “I’m not saying we’re going to get a ten, but I’m going to fight to get one,” he confided. Gilles descended from the air, thanks to his trusty harness, to find a lingerie-clad Peta, who smacks the actor ‘awake’ from his dream state. The drama, the passion – it was all there. Bruno thought it was strong and dominant, but the all star lost his footing a couple of times. “What a shame,” he said, “but the performance was great.” Carrie Ann quipped, “If Peter Pan looked that good growing up, I would’ve listened a little more to that fairy tale.” Len believed their hold could have been tighter and Gilles’ footwork cleaner, but over all the judges enjoyed the performance.

Score: 8.5, 8.5, 8.5 = 25.5 out of 30

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani

Song: “Conga” by Gloria Estefan

Choosing J.R. Matinez’s Samba from Season 13, Melissa was very clear with her partner that she wanted to wow the audience. She wanted them to wonder, “How did they do that?!” After all, she said, “How can you not be scared of the double elimination?” During rehearsals, Melissa’s bag of tricks got her beat up, but the performance was another story. The superstar Samba was well received by the three judges. Carrie Ann could detect a little fear in Melissa’s performance, but “everything else was stellar.” Len compared it to a can of cola – it was fizzy, refreshing and satisfying. All in all, it was a knockout! Bruno cried out to the reality star, “Shake me, take me, anyway you want to.”

Score: 9, 9, 9 = 27 out of 30

Apolo Anton Ohno & Karina Smirnoff

Song: “Fever”

Apolo decideD to take on Gilles’ foxtrot, but “without taking my shirt off or showing my man boobs.” Does anyone really believe he has man boobs? We didn’t think so. With living statues that come to life, Apolo plucked Karina from her pedestal. Len thought the dance had fluidity, but he would’ve preferred cleaner placement when it came to their feet. Bruno said, “It was sensual, classy and classic!” Carrie Ann reassured the couple, “This is going to be one of the memorable dances we’ll never forget.”

Score: 9, 8, 8.5 = 25.5 out of 30

Kelly Monaco & Valentin Chmerkovskiy

Song: “Espana Cani” by Erich Kunzel

The General Hospital star told her partner that she chose Maks and Laila Ali’s Paso Doble from Season 4, “because I think you can do better than your brother.” And to prove she wasn’t kidding, Kelly schedules some extra hours for rehearsal. “There’s a new matador in town and your time’s up!” Val declared. Bruno believed it to be a defining performance for Kelly and Val. “We saw the dancer and actress with your beauty, artistry, power,” Bruno said. “I’m tingling with pleasure!” Carrie Ann called them the new couple to watch this week after smacking the Paso Doble’s booty. Her words, not mine. Len couldn’t believe it. “Kelly, where have you been?” he asked. It was indeed an all star performance.

Score: 9, 9, 9 = 27 out of 30

Kirstie Alley & Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Song: “Moves Like Jagger”

Kirstie had no problem taking creative control this week! She chose Carson Kressley’s cha-cha from Season 13 and had quite the vision to go with it. “I want to see entertainment! I want to be in a crowd of groupies!” Her outfit was all about the boobs and Maks’ was just as revealing. “Very low-cut, very tight – the most amazing tight – basically you’re wearing leggings,” she told him, but, “your junk is not going to be out!” Maks drove a Union Jack decorated Mini Cooper onto the dance floor and was greeted by a crowd of screaming girls, one of them Kirstie. Carrie Ann said it was the most fun she’d had all night and Len announced that he wanted the all stars, “to be in charge of the choreography ever week!” Bruno said Kirstie was loaded with charm and that he nearly burst a gut – or was that because of Maks’ new hairdo?

Score: 8, 8, 8 = 24 out of 30

Sabrina Bryan & Louis van Amstel

Song: “Free Your Mind” by En Vogue

After Sabrina was eliminated Season 5, Melanie Brown dedicated a Paso Doble to the Cheetah Girl. And this week, Sabrina was going to take on the dance herself. Despite the extra fluff and “gimmicks” other all stars were adding to their performances, this all star wanted to focus on the dance. Len thought it was full of risks but also full of great technique. “Maximum firepower!” Bruno said. In fact, it looked like she was leading her partner and it didn’t hurt that there were touches of the Scary Spice. Carrie Ann however was unimpressed. This week was all about the all stars bring the creativity and with Sabrina’s performance there were no surprises.

Score: 8.5, 8, 8.5 = 25 out of 30

Helio Castroneves & Chelsie Hightower

Song: “Mr. Pinstripe Suit” by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Who better to wish you well than the all star whose Iconic Dance you’ll be tackling? Apolo stopped by Helio and Chelsie’s rehearsal to wish them well on his Season 11 Quickstep. But perhaps he shouldn’t have… because the judges loved Helio’s performance! Carrie Ann growled because it was so good and declared him the Quickstep king. Of course, she had to bring up the fact the he did get caught on Chelsie’s dress during the performance and the dance went downhill form there. Len thought the duo deserved to be back next week it was so good and while Bruno agreed, after the slip-up Helio lost his timing.

Score: 8.5, 8.5, 8.5 = 25.5 out of 30

Bristol Palin & Mark Ballas

Song: “Living on Video” by Trans-X

Last week Kirstie was able to overcome her age, but this week Bristol started acting hers. “I know you’re bummed that you don’t have Sabrina or Shawn,” she said to Mark during rehearsals. “Why would you say that?” he asked. “What have I done to make you feel that way?” Apparently, Mark didn’t show up for their scheduled rehearsal the other day and his absence really shook the all star. The dance pro warned Bristol that while he can give her the choreography and the training, if she can’t apply herself on the dance floor… he couldn’t force it out of her. The teary-eyed all star grabbed her bag and left rehearsal, but what would it mean for the duo’s final performance of Joanna Krupa’s Paso Doble from Season 9?

Dressed as a futuristic king and queen, Mark and Bristol took their dance onto the chessboard. Len agreed with their pre-dance argument, revealing he often fights with his partner before the Paso Doble too. “Easily your best dance,” he said. “Checkmate, Bristol” Bruno shouted. He thought she looked great and her lines have gotten better. Carrie Ann said the all star is proving herself as a competitor, but her one-dimensional expressions needed a bit more work.