The 34-year-old opens up about her eating disorder battle in her VH1 Behind The Music special where she reveals she was tortured by the disease during the seven years she was the lead singer for the Pussycat Dolls.
"It's embarrassing," Nicole says. "I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know.
"I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction. It's like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I'd come back to my room and I'd be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction."
The Hawaii-born beauty says she "did it every day for, like, years."
"Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I'd try to hide those. I think the girls could tell," she recalled.
Since leaving the Dolls, Nicole took away the mirrorball trophy in 2010 on Dancing With The Stars and was a judge on The X Factor for its first season. She is now a judge on the UK version of the show and is working on her second solo album.
Nicole's Behind The Music special airs on Oct. 7 at 9 p.m. ET on VH1.
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