Toni Braxton Details Autism Struggle

After Toni Braxton’s youngest son Diesel was diagnosed with autism at age three, she blamed herself -  a feeling she still carries with her five years later.  The Grammy award-winning singer opens up about her family’s journey, which reformatted her relationship with her husband Keri Lewis (they’re now separated) and strengthened the bond between her sons. And, she offers hope to parents dealing with the condition - her son is now attending public school thanks, in part, to early diagnosis.

She adds, “They haven’t figured out what triggers it, but whatever it is, I don’t care, find a cure. Help my kid; help all the other kids. But I had to shake myself off, and go ‘enough about me,’ and make sure my kid’s OK. Once they diagnosed him, we were able to itemize the issues.”

Toni credits early diagnosis with her son’s improving condition.

“I’m lucky,” she says. “I try to tell most parents ‘don’t dismiss the signs.’ It’s OK. When you find out early, you can get them all the help they need. A lot of people try to put it under the backburner … ‘it’s OK, my uncle used to do that, or a friend of the family used to do that years ago.’ It’s not OK. Moms tend to know a little more. Not to say anything bad about dads, but moms tend to know a little more and see those signs.”

For Toni, those signs included a lack of social behavior.

“He had no eye contact,” she says. “He wouldn’t look at anyone. He’d play off by himself. I remember they thought he was hearing impaired. He was 1 ½, 2 years old, so it’s hard to diagnose, because he won’t throw the ball when he sees the color. I had an older son, so I had something to compare, not that you should compare kids, but I had a prototype to look from. He was not developing like his brother on all levels. He had limited speech - years behind his age.”

Despite the hard times, there are rays of hope shining through. Five years after he was diagnosed, Diesel's condition has drastically improved.

“He’s a totally different kid,” she says. “Completely different kid. Family members we haven’t seen since he was younger are like ‘oh my God, what happened? He’s talking, he’s social, he’s playing with other kids!’ We still have a long way to go, but we’ve come such a long way. And he’s in public school now, mainstream school. He’s still in the special education program, but the point is that he’s coming out of autism. I’m very lucky.”

She credits using one ABA (applied behavior analysis) therapist instead of several.

“I think one person is best to hone in and help itemize your kid, and prompt those deficits that he or she may have.”

Video games have also had a positive impact.

“A lot of people say video games can be bad for kids, but I disagree. I think it’s the best thing for an autistic kid. Their dexterity muscles to get sharpened. It helps their occupational therapy.”

Because he’s seen Diesel through his struggles, her eldest son Denim, 9, has grown in his compassion.

“Their relationship is great,” she says. “I remember my older son, though, his friend would say to him, ‘what’s wrong with your brother? He’s weird.’ Kids are honest. I remember my oldest son used to act a little different. He loved his brother, but there were moments when he was like ‘oh yeah, my brother’s different, my friends think my family’s weird.’ Once I talked to my son - you have to talk to the other siblings – once I spoke to my son and let him understand what was going on, he got it. Now he’s protective of his brother.”