Why Patti Stanger Advises Against Baby Before Marriage

Now that Kate Hudson and Natalie Portman are the latest stars who announced their pregnancies before tying the knot, it may not seem like such a bad idea anymore.

However, Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger strongly cautions against it.

“Men don’t want to be bamboozled,” she tells me. “Either they’re not going to marry you because they’re not in love with you, and it’s socially acceptable today to have a child out of wedlock … more stars are having kids out of wedlock than ever before … or they marry you because their thinking is ‘I’m old-school, I can’t have my child not have my name.’ They marry the woman, and there’s resentment. They didn’t love each other.”

She adds, “It’s not the way to get the guy. I don’t care if he marries you for 20 years; you will get hurt in the end. What a place to put a child into. That’s another thing.”

Despite money, power and fame, celebs are not immune from this predicament.

Still, when it comes to Kate’s situation, Patti tells me to “tread carefully” because she’s a friend to Ms. Hudson.

“She chose not to get married, and so did her mother, and I don’t see them breaking up anytime soon. Kurt and Goldie have been going strong for years. It’s a choice. If you had a bad marriage and you had to pay out the ex, a lot of women are paying out the ex … they don’t want to go through that again.”

And Natalie?

“I’m sure she’s going to get married at some point,” Patti says. “She’s Jewish. I’m sure it’s within her realm – getting married. I feel like she’ll get married to him. I’m not worried about her. They love each other, they’re having the kid. I feel good about them.”

For Patti, it's not the women, but the men who concern her most - which ultimately becomes the woman's problem.

“It’s the Matthew McConaugheys of the world, who can afford to get married, who are not getting married and have two children. She’s Catholic and wants marriage. That’s the sad ones. They don’t want to spend the money. It’s a money issue; it’s only money. And if it’s not as big of deal, you’re in a worse place, which means he’s trading up to someone else. He wants the freedom to leave. It gets messy when you bring the lawyers into the situation.”