COUPLESNeil Patrick Harris Learned to Be 'Respectful' of Husband David Burtka’s Sober Lifestyle: It’s 'Part of Being Together'

On 'TODAY With Jenna & Friends,' Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka discussed their contradictory alcohol preferences.
Dec. 26 2025, Updated 12:54 p.m. ET
Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka revealed one of the challenges they have faced throughout their 11-year marriage.
During a re-aired episode of TODAY With Jenna & Friends on Friday, December 26, the couple stressed the importance of adjusting to each other’s drinking preferences.
The duo joined host Jenna Bush Hager to discuss their book, Both Sides of the Glass: Paired Cocktails and Mocktails to Toast Any Taste, inspired by their differing relationships with alcohol.

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka guest-starred on 'TODAY With Jenna & Friends.'
“I am nine years sober, so I got really tired of standing in the back and just drinking seltzer water,” Burtka expressed.
“You still live. You still entertain all the time,” Bush Hager asserted.
The talk show host admired how “authentic” the recipe book is to the couple’s actual lifestyle.
“You’re sober, you’re not, but you guys have been in conversation about it for the last nine years,” she pointed out.
“Part of being together, and we’ve been together almost 20 years, you have to be respectful,” Harris said. “I think part of that apéritif before a fancy meal or something…it’s not like the person who doesn’t drink has to sit there quietly and not do anything.”

David Burtka is currently sober.
“We want to include everybody, including our kids. They love a mocktail, too. It’s all about inclusion, bringing people together. That’s what we need to do,” Burtka added.
The duo shares twins Gideon and Harper, both 15.
They elaborated on the importance of sharing recipes with options for everyone.
“Any time you go to a restaurant, they have mocktails for you, and they end up being sugary, ginger syrup with pineapple, and too sweet, like for a child. So I thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be really great in this NA space to come up with a book that has both sides?’” the chef explained. “These are adult drinks. They are sipping drinks. You want to feel like you’re part of the crowd.”
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Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka have been married for 11 years.
Harris noted that he wanted to do something that “hasn’t been done before” in creating a book with cocktail-inspired mocktails.
“There’s plenty of books out there. There’s a handful of spirit-free cocktail books. But to combine the two, I think, is showing respect to each other and showing respect to people,” he emphasized. “If you’re not sure if they drink or not, it could be a great housewarming gift.”
Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka Celebrate 11-Year Anniversary

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka recently celebrated their anniversary.
The How I Met Your Mother alum reflected on 11 years of marriage in September with a sweet post hugging his husband from behind.
“Eleven years married..how does the time fly..! Thanks, David, for always being there. For being my constant. For refusing to be ordinary. For holding me accountable. For providing. For parenting. For patience. For partnership. I love you. ❤️ @dbelicious,” he wrote.


