COUPLESPenn Badgley's Wife Domino Kirke Says She Still Gets DMs Blaming Him for Swearing Off Intimate Scenes: 'Get Over It!'
Penn Badgley's wife, Domino Kirke, said that she still gets messages criticizing and blaming her for his 2023 decision to stop filming intimate scenes.
Oct. 1 2026, Published 5:54 p.m. ET
Penn Badgley’s wife, Domino Kirke, has a simple message for fans who blame her for Badgley’s 2023 decision to quit filming intimate scenes.
Kirke spoke out in a message on Instagram referencing a 2023 article about the Gossip Girl alum refraining from doing intimate scenes on You and other shows.
“So I continue to get DMs about this thing that happened about three years ago,” she revealed, noting that Badgley made the decision for his own mental health, and that she fully supported him.
'The Truth Is, My Husband Decided to Do This for Mental Health Reasons'
Domino Kirke said, 'In the entertainment world, they call actors 'puppets' behind their backs.'
“The Internet decided I’d asked my husband to stop doing s-- scenes,” said Kirke, who married Badgley in 2017. "The truth is, my husband decided to do this for mental health reasons. After working in the industry since he was just 12 years old, believe me, it was time. In the entertainment world, they call actors ‘puppets’ behind their backs, and it’s even more disturbing when they start out as child actors.”
'They're Constantly Allowing Folks to Blaze Past All Their Boundaries'
According to Penn Badgley's wife Domino Kirke, entertainers with a people-pleasing nature can easily be taken advantage of.
She said his fans started having unrealistic expectations: “It was really major in his industry because that’s the thing they like you to do, and the characters that my husband has played over the years, people have come to expect that he will continue to play that guy.”
She made the non-negotiable nature clear: “I want to say, to all those people who continue to DM me about something my husband deciding to do this for himself and for his mental health: Get over it!"
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'Entertainers, Birth Professionals, and Other Caregivers Bleed to Create So Much for Others'
Penn Badgley gave up filming intimate scenes for his own mental health, according to his wife Domino Kirke.
Kirke went on to compare the pressure on actors to deliver what fans and producers want to her own field as a doula.
“I’ve been a birth professional for 17 years,” she shared. “In my work, I see a LOT of similar patterns to those in the entertainment world. Caregivers are so ready to be invisible, collapse, disappear, or take direction no matter what. They’re constantly allowing folks to blaze past all their boundaries, all in the spirit of being accommodating, or in my husband’s case, entertaining.”
Domino Kirke said she still gets messages blaming her for her husband giving up intimate scenes three years later
She said it all ties into unrealistic expectations for caregivers and entertainers alike.
“It’s wild how rarely we talk about relational hygiene and mental health for the people in the caregiving world AND the entertainment world,” she continued. “Entertainers, birth professionals, and caregivers bleed to create so much for others, and then they’re expected to go home and show up for their own lives and families as though nothing happened.”
