RAYE Reveals Her Family Feared She Would Die During 'Dark' Battle With Drugs and Alcohol: 'I Was Really in the Deep End'

Behind RAYE's rise from a frustrated songwriter to one of Britain's most celebrated music stars was a dark period when even her family feared for her life.

"Interestingly, there was a time when I was just not sober at all. I was really in the deep end," the singer admitted.

RAYE, whose real name is Rachel Keen, described 2019 as a "pretty dark year," revealing how painful personal experiences, mounting frustrations and substance abuse took a toll on her life.

Her sister Amma, who was just 18 at the time, recalled staying with the "Escapism" singer during that difficult period and the heartbreaking reality of constantly worrying about her well-being.

"It would be me that had to double-check she was okay and, yeah, she was still alive frankly," Amma told CBS.

RAYE also admitted that she had become distant from some family members while struggling behind closed doors, though they have since become a vital source of support in her recovery.

"I was very good at hiding what I was going through and what I was doing from my family," she confessed.

RAYE also credited her grandmother with helping her through the difficult time by sending her Bible verses that offered comfort and encouragement during her recovery.

RAYE's journey to success in the music industry was anything but smooth. She was just 17 when she signed with Polydor Records in 2014, but spent nearly seven years waiting for the chance to release her own album. During that time, she built her career by writing songs for other artists and lending her vocals to their tracks.

By 2021, however, RAYE had grown tired of waiting and decided to speak out about her frustrations with the label.

"I’ve done everything they asked me, I switched genres, I worked 7 days a week, ask anyone in the music game, they know. I’m done being a polite pop star. I want to make my album now, please that is all I want," she wrote on social media.

RAYE eventually parted ways with Polydor and embarked on a new chapter as an independent artist. Although the move gave her greater creative freedom and helped her establish herself as a star in her own right, Keen admitted in a previous interview that she felt "terrified" about taking such a major leap in her career.

Keen poured her deeply personal experiences into her debut album, My 21st Century Blues, tackling difficult subjects through her music. While "Ice Cream Man" addresses sexual assault, her hit song "Escapism" explores turning to alcohol, drugs and casual s-- to numb emotional pain, as she explained in an interview with Sky News.

"It's things I've been silent about for so long and swallowed for so long and self-managed for so long in non-constructive ways," she said.

In a separate interview with Time Out London, RAYE described songwriting as a safe space where she could process her experiences and share her story "in my own way, with my own words."

"Ice Cream Man," in particular, became a powerful outlet for Keen to confront painful experiences she had kept to herself for years. In 2024, the 28-year-old delivered an emotional performance of the song at the BRIT Awards, a moment she later described to ELLE as "something medicinal and cathartic I needed to do for myself."

In the same interview with ELLE, the singer reflected on how her mindset has changed since recording her debut album and how that personal growth has influenced her approach to new music.

"A lot of My 21st Century Blues, I was up in the clouds, rolling a blunt," she admitted.

Now, however, RAYE says she has found healthier ways to cope with life's challenges rather than turning to substances to "escape" her emotions.

"I like that I’ve come down to earth to write these lyrics. I prefer myself like this. I’ve found discipline and abstinence in my life, and it’s a beautiful thing. I’ll have a nice glass of wine every now and then, but I’m no longer drinking to fix or bury or numb or escape," she explained.