A Woman Drove Three Hours to See Friends She Hadn't Seen in Eight Months. Then the New Parents Told Her Their Nanny Cam Showed She Talked Too Little About Their Baby

A woman felt uncomfortable visiting friends whom she hadn't seen in eight months after discovering they had timed her on their nanny cam.

As it turns out, the woman drove three hours to catch up with them.

However, she was met with surprise when, after the meeting, her friend complained that she talked too little about their baby, as they had seen on their nanny cam.

On Reddit, u/Stock-Act1304 shared that when she finally got to meet these friends of hers after such a long time and covering such a long journey, she "made a genuine effort to connect with them and their little one."

"I asked how they were doing, asked about their daughter, and talked with them for hours about how they were balancing work and parenthood. I held their child, laughed with my husband when he was awkwardly figuring out how to hold her, and even danced around trying to keep her entertained during tummy time," she wrote.

But things went awry when, during a recent disagreement, her friend brought up that "they had apparently watched footage from their nanny cam from that visit months ago and had timed me."

That's not all. The woman's friends even used what they observed to call her a "bad friend" because "I talk about my own work and life (which they prompted), rather than focusing on them and their child."

Apparently, per the woman, "When this conversation about life and work occurred was when their child was taking a nap."

The woman then emphasized that she knew how becoming a parent changes a person's life, also mentioning that she is aware of how stressed her friends have been lately.

That said, she also made a conscious attempt to "know how my friend is doing, how their daughter is growing, and how they’re adjusting to parenthood."

The woman said she clearly demonstrated this "by driving three hours to see them and spending hours asking questions and engaging with them."

But, she also mentioned, "I didn’t know that them asking me about my life, job, and marriage was unwanted even though they asked," adding, "These things are things I want to share with my friends. If someone asks me about those things, I answer."

"I thought friendship was supposed to involve mutual conversation, where both people get to share what’s happening in their lives," she pointed out.

However, what really bothered her was the nanny cam situation.

While the woman acknowledged the importance of nanny cams and parents' right to use them, she also complained, "What makes me uncomfortable is the idea that footage from a visit months ago was reviewed and timed. I had no idea I was apparently being evaluated during what I thought was a normal, genuine visit with someone I cared about."

That incident has inevitably left the woman feeling "uncomfortable" even thinking about going back to her friend's home again.

"I feel like I would have to monitor every word I say, count how many minutes I spend talking about their child versus myself, and constantly prove that I care enough. I don’t want to feel like I’m walking on eggshells in a friendship," she wrote.

She mentioned that she's also hurt because "I made a significant effort to visit them after eight months apart, and instead of feeling like that effort was appreciated, I’m finding out that my conversation was apparently being scrutinized behind the scenes."

The woman concluded, "I’m not saying I’m a perfect friend. I’m open to hearing that I could do more or that my friend feels neglected. If they had told me they needed more support, more questions about their daughter, or more opportunities to talk about parenthood, I would have been willing to have that conversation."