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Kailyn Lowry Confesses She Knew She Would 'Regret' Marrying Javi Marroquin!
![Kailyn lowry javi marroquin divorce book details teen mom](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/BPEO21aMf/480x251/2018/05/javi-marroquin-girlfriend-lauren-pregnant-kailyn-lowry-reaction.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/BPEO21aMf/640x335/2018/05/javi-marroquin-girlfriend-lauren-pregnant-kailyn-lowry-reaction.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/BPEO21aMf/768x402/2018/05/javi-marroquin-girlfriend-lauren-pregnant-kailyn-lowry-reaction.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/BPEO21aMf/1024x536/2018/05/javi-marroquin-girlfriend-lauren-pregnant-kailyn-lowry-reaction.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/BPEO21aMf/1280x670/2018/05/javi-marroquin-girlfriend-lauren-pregnant-kailyn-lowry-reaction.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/BPEO21aMf/1440x753/2018/05/javi-marroquin-girlfriend-lauren-pregnant-kailyn-lowry-reaction.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/BPEO21aMf/1600x837/2018/05/javi-marroquin-girlfriend-lauren-pregnant-kailyn-lowry-reaction.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/BPEO21aMf/2160x1130/2018/05/javi-marroquin-girlfriend-lauren-pregnant-kailyn-lowry-reaction.jpg 2160w)
Sep. 24 2018, Published 3:02 p.m. ET
Kailyn Lowry is coming clean in her upcoming book, A Letter Of Love! OKMagazine.com obtained an exclusive copy of the mother-of-three's upcoming book where she revealed all about her relationship with her ex and second baby daddy, Javi Marroquin. From their marriage to the decision to divorce to the shocking cheating rumors, the mother-of-three isn't holding back this time.
![Screen Shot 2018 06 06 at 8.26.28 AM](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/hFENAahIG/480x238/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-06-at-8.26.28-AM-2.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/hFENAahIG/640x317/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-06-at-8.26.28-AM-2.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/hFENAahIG/768x381/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-06-at-8.26.28-AM-2.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/hFENAahIG/1024x507/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-06-at-8.26.28-AM-2.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/hFENAahIG/1280x634/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-06-at-8.26.28-AM-2.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/hFENAahIG/1440x713/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-06-at-8.26.28-AM-2.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/hFENAahIG/1600x792/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-06-at-8.26.28-AM-2.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/hFENAahIG/2160x1070/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-06-at-8.26.28-AM-2.jpg 2160w)
Prior to marrying Javi back in 2012, Kailyn had a gut feeling about her decision which she now isn't afraid to open up about. "I knew going into the marriage with Javi that I would regret it. We were fighting constantly and not even sleeping in the same bed. I was overcome and filled with doubt at all times. I was trying to convince myself that things would get better in time, but they never did," the mother-of-three wrote about her marriage to Lincoln's father.
![Screen Shot 2018 06 18 at 12.00.54 PM](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/kpjRYsS5A/480x216/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-18-at-12.00.54-PM-1.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/kpjRYsS5A/640x288/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-18-at-12.00.54-PM-1.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/kpjRYsS5A/768x346/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-18-at-12.00.54-PM-1.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/kpjRYsS5A/1024x461/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-18-at-12.00.54-PM-1.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/kpjRYsS5A/1280x576/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-18-at-12.00.54-PM-1.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/kpjRYsS5A/1440x648/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-18-at-12.00.54-PM-1.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/kpjRYsS5A/1600x720/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-18-at-12.00.54-PM-1.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/kpjRYsS5A/2160x972/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-18-at-12.00.54-PM-1.jpg 2160w)
In her upcoming book, Kail admits to lying in her 2014 book, Pride Over Pity. “I wrote about how happy I was in my marriage to Javi. It was all a ditch attempt to try to convince myself. Of all the people watching our lives unfold, I now realize that while we were convincing the world, I was the one that needed to be convinced that love was real and that happiness would find me.”
![Screen Shot 2018 06 26 at 11.55.29 AM](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0BLt_8Ar0/480x240/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-26-at-11.55.29-AM.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0BLt_8Ar0/640x320/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-26-at-11.55.29-AM.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0BLt_8Ar0/768x384/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-26-at-11.55.29-AM.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0BLt_8Ar0/1024x512/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-26-at-11.55.29-AM.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0BLt_8Ar0/1280x640/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-26-at-11.55.29-AM.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0BLt_8Ar0/1440x720/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-26-at-11.55.29-AM.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0BLt_8Ar0/1600x800/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-26-at-11.55.29-AM.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0BLt_8Ar0/2160x1080/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-06-26-at-11.55.29-AM.jpg 2160w)
Viewers watched the MTV couple's marriage crumble on the show, but Kail is now explaining it in her own words. “He told me on several occasions that he had filed for a divorce,” Kail penned. “I never knew if he had really done so or not. I was afraid in so many ways. I was afraid to start over, afraid to fail at love again, and afraid to be the mother of two children from two different relationships that didn’t work."
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![Javi](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/qvf3MKBd4/480x252/2018/09/Javi.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/qvf3MKBd4/640x336/2018/09/Javi.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/qvf3MKBd4/768x403/2018/09/Javi.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/qvf3MKBd4/1024x537/2018/09/Javi.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/qvf3MKBd4/1280x671/2018/09/Javi.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/qvf3MKBd4/1440x754/2018/09/Javi.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/qvf3MKBd4/1600x838/2018/09/Javi.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/qvf3MKBd4/2160x1131/2018/09/Javi.jpg 2160w)
She explained further about the decision to file for divorce writing, “I made the decision to step outside of my comfort zone and to denounce fear just before Javi was deployed for the military.” The reality star announced that she filed for divorce in 2016 after nearly 4 years of marriage.
![Screen Shot 2018 08 15 at 12.09.22 PM](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/eP3nz54AY/480x269/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-08-15-at-12.09.22-PM-2.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/eP3nz54AY/640x358/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-08-15-at-12.09.22-PM-2.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/eP3nz54AY/768x430/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-08-15-at-12.09.22-PM-2.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/eP3nz54AY/1024x573/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-08-15-at-12.09.22-PM-2.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/eP3nz54AY/1280x716/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-08-15-at-12.09.22-PM-2.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/eP3nz54AY/1440x806/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-08-15-at-12.09.22-PM-2.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/eP3nz54AY/1600x895/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-08-15-at-12.09.22-PM-2.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/eP3nz54AY/2160x1209/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-08-15-at-12.09.22-PM-2.jpg 2160w)
The single mother also addressed the rumors of her "cheating" on Javi. She penned, "Around that same time, there were tons of rumors that I was with someone else. Regard- less of what the public opinion was, I had not dated anyone else until after I officially filed for a divorce from Javi. Even though I had friends at the house, I was never with a guy alone. It was all B.S. When Javi accused me of cheating on the show, I didn’t defend myself. I never cheated on Javi. I was just done. I was going to take my life back and begin to live for the boys and me."
![Screen Shot 2018 02 23 at 10.42.31 AM](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/4uqOW9s4s/480x286/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-02-23-at-10.42.31-AM.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/4uqOW9s4s/640x381/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-02-23-at-10.42.31-AM.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/4uqOW9s4s/768x457/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-02-23-at-10.42.31-AM.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/4uqOW9s4s/1024x610/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-02-23-at-10.42.31-AM.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/4uqOW9s4s/1280x762/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-02-23-at-10.42.31-AM.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/4uqOW9s4s/1440x857/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-02-23-at-10.42.31-AM.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/4uqOW9s4s/1600x952/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-02-23-at-10.42.31-AM.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/4uqOW9s4s/2160x1286/2018/09/Screen-Shot-2018-02-23-at-10.42.31-AM.jpg 2160w)
Are you excited to read Kail's upcoming book? Let us know your thoughts!