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Heartbreaking Details: Pete Davidson Reveals He Tried To Kill Himself In 4th Grade
![Pete Davidson drown](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/CSi2KBXnH/480x251/2018/08/pete-header.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/CSi2KBXnH/640x335/2018/08/pete-header.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/CSi2KBXnH/768x402/2018/08/pete-header.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/CSi2KBXnH/1024x536/2018/08/pete-header.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/CSi2KBXnH/1280x670/2018/08/pete-header.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/CSi2KBXnH/1440x753/2018/08/pete-header.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/CSi2KBXnH/1600x837/2018/08/pete-header.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/CSi2KBXnH/2160x1130/2018/08/pete-header.jpg 2160w)
Aug. 28 2018, Updated 7:13 p.m. ET
Though he's happy in love now with fiancée, Ariana Grande, funnyman Pete Davidson admits this wasn’t always the case. During a recent interview with Variety, he got candid about his mental health and his struggles with suicidal ideation.
![Pete at vmas](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/dj1A4wymo/480x307/2018/08/GettyImages-1020376192.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/dj1A4wymo/640x409/2018/08/GettyImages-1020376192.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/dj1A4wymo/768x490/2018/08/GettyImages-1020376192.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/dj1A4wymo/1024x653/2018/08/GettyImages-1020376192.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/dj1A4wymo/1280x817/2018/08/GettyImages-1020376192.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/dj1A4wymo/1440x919/2018/08/GettyImages-1020376192.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/dj1A4wymo/1600x1021/2018/08/GettyImages-1020376192.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/dj1A4wymo/2160x1378/2018/08/GettyImages-1020376192.jpg 2160w)
He recalled, “I’ve been in and out of mental health facilities since I was 9. I tried to drown myself in the pool when I was in the fourth or fifth grade. I was trying to get my head stuck in the ladder in the deep end, so I would not be able to get up.”
![Pete solo](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/WWmlF-D7C/480x307/2018/08/MEGA73217_059.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/WWmlF-D7C/640x409/2018/08/MEGA73217_059.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/WWmlF-D7C/768x490/2018/08/MEGA73217_059.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/WWmlF-D7C/1024x653/2018/08/MEGA73217_059.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/WWmlF-D7C/1280x817/2018/08/MEGA73217_059.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/WWmlF-D7C/1440x919/2018/08/MEGA73217_059.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/WWmlF-D7C/1600x1021/2018/08/MEGA73217_059.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/WWmlF-D7C/2160x1378/2018/08/MEGA73217_059.jpg 2160w)
Tahnkfully, his attempt was unsuccessful. “I’m too much of a p***y, and my head is too small,” he said.
![Pete and ariana](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/vCwMOne-k/480x307/2018/08/MEGA251293_003.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/vCwMOne-k/640x409/2018/08/MEGA251293_003.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/vCwMOne-k/768x490/2018/08/MEGA251293_003.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/vCwMOne-k/1024x653/2018/08/MEGA251293_003.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/vCwMOne-k/1280x817/2018/08/MEGA251293_003.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/vCwMOne-k/1440x919/2018/08/MEGA251293_003.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/vCwMOne-k/1600x1021/2018/08/MEGA251293_003.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/vCwMOne-k/2160x1378/2018/08/MEGA251293_003.jpg 2160w)
This wasn’t the first time the SNL star has talked openly about his mental illness. Back in June, he revealed that he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder after entering rehab.
![Ariana and pete](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZIvxj2Tpp/480x307/2018/08/MEGA263983_001.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZIvxj2Tpp/640x409/2018/08/MEGA263983_001.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZIvxj2Tpp/768x490/2018/08/MEGA263983_001.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZIvxj2Tpp/1024x653/2018/08/MEGA263983_001.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZIvxj2Tpp/1280x817/2018/08/MEGA263983_001.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZIvxj2Tpp/1440x919/2018/08/MEGA263983_001.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZIvxj2Tpp/1600x1021/2018/08/MEGA263983_001.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZIvxj2Tpp/2160x1378/2018/08/MEGA263983_001.jpg 2160w)
After remaining sober for months and not experiencing the results he expected, he decided to seek further help. “I found out I had a mental disorder. I thought I had a drug problem. It’s a completely different thing,” said the New York native.
![Pete davidson and ariana](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/9vjNpGbgm/480x307/2018/08/MEGA246763_001.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/9vjNpGbgm/640x409/2018/08/MEGA246763_001.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/9vjNpGbgm/768x490/2018/08/MEGA246763_001.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/9vjNpGbgm/1024x653/2018/08/MEGA246763_001.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/9vjNpGbgm/1280x817/2018/08/MEGA246763_001.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/9vjNpGbgm/1440x919/2018/08/MEGA246763_001.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/9vjNpGbgm/1600x1021/2018/08/MEGA246763_001.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/9vjNpGbgm/2160x1378/2018/08/MEGA246763_001.jpg 2160w)
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During the interview, in addition to his BPD, the 24-year-old also talked about what a huge impact losing his father on 9/11 had on the direction of his life. “If my dad didn’t die, I wouldn’t be a comic. I’d be a construction worker in Staten Island or a basketball coach. I learned what death was,” he explained.
![Screen Shot 2018 08 28 at 3.35.06 PM](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0m-aK0Z2c/480x307/2018/08/Screen-Shot-2018-08-28-at-3.35.06-PM.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0m-aK0Z2c/640x409/2018/08/Screen-Shot-2018-08-28-at-3.35.06-PM.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0m-aK0Z2c/768x490/2018/08/Screen-Shot-2018-08-28-at-3.35.06-PM.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0m-aK0Z2c/1024x653/2018/08/Screen-Shot-2018-08-28-at-3.35.06-PM.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0m-aK0Z2c/1280x817/2018/08/Screen-Shot-2018-08-28-at-3.35.06-PM.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0m-aK0Z2c/1440x919/2018/08/Screen-Shot-2018-08-28-at-3.35.06-PM.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0m-aK0Z2c/1600x1021/2018/08/Screen-Shot-2018-08-28-at-3.35.06-PM.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/0m-aK0Z2c/2160x1378/2018/08/Screen-Shot-2018-08-28-at-3.35.06-PM.jpg 2160w)
He continued, “To learn how anything can just be taken away from you early gave me this sense of ‘F*** it. Whatever, dude.’ I’m able to do stand-up and f*** around because hopefully the worst thing that has ever happened to me happened.”
![Ariana at the vmas](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/soACHLWYT/480x307/2018/08/9e431e64e3e.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/soACHLWYT/640x409/2018/08/9e431e64e3e.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/soACHLWYT/768x490/2018/08/9e431e64e3e.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/soACHLWYT/1024x653/2018/08/9e431e64e3e.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/soACHLWYT/1280x817/2018/08/9e431e64e3e.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/soACHLWYT/1440x919/2018/08/9e431e64e3e.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/soACHLWYT/1600x1021/2018/08/9e431e64e3e.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/soACHLWYT/2160x1378/2018/08/9e431e64e3e.jpg 2160w)
His career as a comedian is also what lead him to his lady love. He and Ariana first met on the set on Saturday Night Live in 2016. The singer, who named a song on her most recent album after him, admitted that after meeting him she told her tour manager, “I'm marrying him, 100 percent. I'm literally marrying him.”
![Ariana and pete at vmas](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/onHg40maQ/480x307/2018/08/538c33a10e5.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/onHg40maQ/640x409/2018/08/538c33a10e5.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/onHg40maQ/768x490/2018/08/538c33a10e5.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/onHg40maQ/1024x653/2018/08/538c33a10e5.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/onHg40maQ/1280x817/2018/08/538c33a10e5.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/onHg40maQ/1440x919/2018/08/538c33a10e5.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/onHg40maQ/1600x1021/2018/08/538c33a10e5.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/onHg40maQ/2160x1378/2018/08/538c33a10e5.jpg 2160w)
What do you think about Pete’s willingness to discuss his mental health? Let us know in the comments!
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