“I think at the age of 25, had I had a name to what I was feeling at the time, I would have disclosed that I’m suffering from depression. I didn’t know until I was in my 30s what was going on,” Michelle said as she co-hosted the show.
“I just thought it was growing pains. I just thought I’m turning into a woman. I’ve been suffering since between the age of 13 and 15. At that age, I didn’t know what to call it,” Michelle explained.
“I’m in one of the top selling female groups of all time, suffering from depressing. When I disclosed it to our manager at the time, bless his heart, he was like, ‘You all just signed a multi-million dollar deal. You’re about to go on tour. What do you have to be depressed about?'” Michelle explained
“So I was like, ‘Oh, maybe I’m just tired,’” Michelle said. “I think he wanted me to be grateful, which I was, but I was still sad.”
Michelle blamed her depression on “some things that I saw growing up.” “I internalize everything,” she said. “I didn’t have an outlet. You go to church, and then you just sweep it under the rug and pray about it.”
When asked what the lowest point was, Michelle confessed she became suicidal. “I was to that place where it got so dark and heavy because sometimes you feel like ‘I’m the provider. I take care of people. I’m not supposed to be feeling this way. What do I do?’” Michelle explained. “I wanted out.”
Michelle said her goal now is to “normalize” the discussion surrounding depression.
“I just want to normalize this discussion just as much as we normalize ‘Girl is my butt too small? I want to get it bigger,’” Michelle joked. “Depression doesn’t mean lazy. Self-harm doesn’t mean you want attention. It’s not any of that.”
What do you think of Michelle’s honest discussion about depression? Sound off in the comments below.