Octomom Nadya Suleman seems finally to have accepted what the world has known for a long time – that having and taking care of 14 children is tough!

In an interview with RadarOnline.com, Suleman speaks candidly about her life following the birth of her octuplets and reflects on some of the misperceptions she may have had.

"I used denial," she admits. "I kept telling myself over and over in my head that next week it is going to all die down. It’s going to go away. I was kidding myself, I was lying to myself when I thought it wasn’t going to be this bad."

Nadya is speaking, in part, about the paparazzi frenzy which met her at her home on Thursday when she brought home two of her eight babies from the hospital.

Her mother, Angela Suleman, was not there to greet daughter or her new grandchildren – something Nadya says wasn’t a shock.

"The truth of my mom will come out eventually," Nadya says. "I love her, I respect her, she’s my mom. But she dismisses and disrespects everything I have ever said. I do belive she cares about her grandchildren but she’s not very attached. She doesn’t want to have anything to do with the babies."

Nadya says she plans to write a book where "everything will be disclosed." When asked why people view her so negatively, she says, "There’s definitely a bias. If it were a couple who were married with eight babies, this probably wouldn’t be happening or be as scrutinized as it is. I’m single, of course people are going to think that i am not going to be able to take care of them. It’s going to take a long time to prove to the world that I can be a very good mother."

Suleman frankly admits that she would have "been forced to accept government assistance" had it not been for "a couple of little opportunities to secure some resources for them [the babies]."

"I’m obsessed with being the best parent I can be," she says.


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