NEWSAsk Drita D'Avanzo: How to Deal When Your Sex Life Disappears
Mob Wives star Drita D’Avanzo is back to help with your problems! Check back every week for Drita’s distinct brand of tough-love advice, and you can even send in questions of your own! Just email askdrita@okmagazine.com, or tweet @OKMagazine with the hashtag #OKAskDrita.
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I would like to remain anonymous please. I've been with my husband for 7 going on 8 years. Our sex life has gone away a lot. How can I keep the sex going if I'm never in the mood? When I have the pressure of not being able to bear him a child yet?
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Hey Anonymous!
It's not uncommon for a married couple to not be as sexually active as they used to be BUT the reason you are no longer in the mood is not in the question. Are you no longer attracted to him? Are you unable to bear a child? Does he pressure you into getting pregnant because it's been 8 years? It's hard for me to really give you advice because your question is not in detail, but if you are ready to have a child and he is then that is something you two need to sit down and talk about.
Why are you no longer sexually active? Some women I know will say I hardly have sex with my husband because I’m too busy with work, the kids, the house... blah blah blah is what I have to say to that! You make time. It's important for you to give your partner that attention and love for a long-lasting marriage. It's important for YOU to get attention and feel loved too! I think when you find yourself no longer having sex and feeling like you are losing a grip on your marriage, it's time to make plans to fight for the love and feeling you once felt, and fight for your marriage to work. Make plans and do something you both enjoy doing, or you used to do when you were dating! You have to have that great night out with your husband so you can remember why you fell in love in the first place. Spice it up! Do something different. No one wants the same daily routine for years and years. Maybe you need to take a vacation and just be alone together on a beach somewhere with no cell phones and no distractions. Just you and your husband.
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I’m not sure if you not having a child is taking a toll on your sex life, but it shouldn't!!!! You have to sit back and figure out what it is you both want and TALK! If you love him and want your marriage to last then you will try and do anything to make that happen. Take a day to pamper yourself and get a massage or facial. Do your hair and makeup and put on sexy lingerie. Wait for you husband to come through the door and surprise him! Make the night special and see how you both feel and then maybe in the morning you can talk about all the serious stuff but for the night... there should be zero conversation. lol Good luck!! xoxo
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Hello Drita!
I recently started my own business and I'm having trouble with getting clients. I am a 28-year-old mother of three elementary-school age children and I'm always busy with PTA and other things as well. I've done lots of advertising, I've even done some grassroots marketing to try and get my name out there. But with very limited funds and everything with the kiddos, I really can't afford to go through another phase of high advertising right now. I know when I go out and about I could probably stand to have more professional-looking suits or outfits, so I'll try to work on that for the first impressions perspective. But, do you have any advice from your own experiences?
By the way, I completely loooove the show. I'm a junky on that level!! Lol, but I'm def ready for more!! I really can't wait!!
Thanks hun!
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Hi,
Thanks so much! We just started filming season 5 so get ready!!! I promise you will love it even more than last season!
So let's talk business! I know it can be so difficult to start a business and build a clientele but the key sentence in your question is that you are busy with PTA!!! PTA? Really? That is the best position to be in. Your clientele is right in front of you. You being around all the moms in the school and building a friendship with them is how you start your business. Every makeup artist becomes successful from word of mouth. You should maybe do someone's makeup for FREE and just say, 'No worries, I just want to play around and try new colors on you.' If you do a great job BELIEVE ME... the gossip will begin. And there will be text after text (maybe even a photo sent out) about how amazing you do makeup! That one women is capable of telling 3 other women and by the end of the week most of the school will know, lol. If every mom in the PTA knows you are an awesome artist then they will all start to book you for events.
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I know tons of stay-at-home moms that started businesses and sold to mostly PTA moms and teachers, and their business just kept on growing. You don't have to wear Chanel or Prada to be presentable. I know amazing artists that wear ripped jeans, spiked hair, and some even have pink hair. A makeup artist has the word "artist" for good reason. If you are great at what you do, then that's all that matters. I highly suggest you take advantage of being part of the PTA, and take advantage of women that gossip. lol Don't ever give up and keep focused and keep positive! Slowly but surely your business will grow and you will make $$$. If you want it bad enough it will happen. Be patient and good luck!!!
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Do you agree with Drita's advice? Do you think that's the best way to handle a low sex drive? Would you ever start your own business? Tell us in the comments below or tweet us @OKMagazine.
