Lady Gaga‘s unique approach to music and fashion sets her apart from the crowd but the outrageous singer admits her career comes with a cost — she feels totally alone.

“I’m perpetually lonely. I’m lonely when I’m in relationships. It’s my condition as an artist,” she tells Vanity Fair magazine.

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But she admits something else holds her back from meeting men. “I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina.”

And it was her own love life that inspired her hit song, “Bad Romance”. “I’m drawn to bad romances. And my song is about whether I go after those [sort of relationships] or if they find me. I’m quite celibate now; I don’t really get time to meet anyone.”

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Meanwhile, Gaga also opens up about her drug use and the time she “hit rock bottom”: “I was completely mental and had just been through so much,” but she’s wary of glamorizing drug use.

“I do not want my fans to ever emulate that or be that way,” she says. “I don’t want my fans to think they have to be that way to be great. It’s in the past. It was a low point, and it led to disaster.”

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How did she claw her way back to normality? The “Telephone” singer says she “went home”. “All I will say is I hit rock bottom, and it was enough to send a person over the edge.

“My mother knew the truth about that day, and she screamed so loud on the other end of the phone, I’ll never forget it. And she said, ‘I’m coming to get you.’”

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Mother and daughter flew to her 82-year-old grandmother’s house in West Virginia. “I cried. I told her I thought my life was over and I have no hope and I’ve worked so hard, and I knew I was good,” says Gaga.

“What would I do now? And she said, ‘I’m gonna let you cry for a few more hours. And then after those few hours are up, you’re gonna stop crying, you’re gonna pick yourself up, you’re gonna go back to New York, and you’re gonna kick some ass.’”

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