TV Fanatic and OK!‘s Joyce Eng break down your fave shows of the night!

House: “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the most secretive of them all? Thirteen, of course! Patient of the week is a mysterious mugging victim with mirror syndrome. So for a good 50 minutes, while the docs run around trying to figure out what caused it, we get some insight to the new underlings through Patient X’s mimicry. This was a gimmicky move on the writers’ parts to give us nutshell bios of the new fellows. What did we learn? Grumpy (Andy Cormeau) feels for other’s misery and nearly quits the world’s longest job interview to aid third world countries, Taub (Peter Jacobson) has the hots for Cutthroat Bitch and House has the hots for Thirteen (Olivia Wilde). We get nothing out of the enigma that is Thirteen. Her shrouded secrecy was intriguing in the beginning, but now I really don’t care. Watch it be absolutely nothing. They’ve been building this up for a while and the possibility that they’ve just written themselves into a corner isn’t farfetched. After rounds of rashes, coagulated blood, cardiac arrest and an induced fever, it turns out Patient X is Robert Elliot and suffers from Eperythrozoon infection. Layman’s terms: pig poo infection. In the midst of all this, Foreman reluctantly (if we’re to believe) returns, much to House’s chagrin as he cannot override Cuddy’s decision. So how do you get even? Jokes! Proving tricks aren’t just for kids, the two go at it with the Mayonnaise Panic of 2007 (House), a Vicodin/laxative switcheroo (Cuddy), a possible birth control switcheroo (House) and a bet with the patient to determine who has the alpha personality. The patient mirrors the dominant personality of two in a room and what do you know? It’s Cuddy, who’s proud of her “yabos”! Hugh Laurie‘s celebratory dance was pure bliss! There was a lot of gambling going on – House and Chase pooled together to bet on who’ll be axed next. The result? No one. How very Idol Gives Back of him. Hence, the two split the pot and House walks out with a new friend in Foreman, who has finally accepted his House Lite-ness. Now if we can only get Chase and Cameron back in more prominent roles, we’re all set!” – Joyce

Dancing With the Stars: The Results Show: “Sabrina gone? Say it ain’t so! I was a little worried Monday night when Sabrina and Mark’s scores weren’t as high as usual, but I didn’t expect it to turn out with the gal most believed to take it all being eliminated (I totally lose the office pool!). I don’t have kids, but my maternal instinct made me want to jump up, hug Sabrina and tell her everything is going to be alright when her tears started to flow. Luckily, her partner was there to console her – didn’t that forehead kiss look like more than just a friendly partner peck? Can a girl still win with their strongest link out of the running? You betcha, if my dialing finger has anything to say about it! Jane Seymour gets food poisoning and misses the show. She and fainting Marie Osmond are definitely in the race to see who can get the most ailments (and sympathy votes?). I might have to become a fanilow after listening to the easy sounds of Barry Manilow. And Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann? I think Carrie Ann Inaba is going to kick Bruno Tonioli’s ass!” – TV Fanatic


The Biggest Loser: “The Losers are still seething with anger towards Neil.  No one is happy with what he did.  Kae even packs up and decides whether she is done with the show.  Of course she isn’t… she is a bit dramatic, that Kae.  She can lose weight like no one’s business, but she is always crying! She should have just punched Neil and gotten over it.  It would have been silly of her to give up her quest to be healthy because he threw the weigh in. We also find out that Neil pressured Amy to throw the weigh in as well.  I think she is lying because she is always trying to doop someone… even Jillian!  After they all calm down and stop hating Neil for a little they go to the challenge.  The prize is a secret black box that they won’t learnt he contents of until after the challenge.  Nicole, Ryan, and B win the challenge and the prize is that they each earn a vote to get rid of someone.  At the weigh in Neil loses 33 pounds… mostly because of his water weight from last week.  Isabeau (Neil’s partner) loses 0 pounds as a way to throw Neil off for cheating las week! Cowboy, Kae, and Holly fall below the yellow line.  Cowboy is sent packing and continues his journey back home.” – Derek


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