REALITY TV'RHONY' Star Sai De Silva Was 'Addicted' to 'Emotionally Unavailable Men' Before Marrying David Craig: 'My F---boy Era'
'RHONY' star Sai De Silva revealed she was addicted to 'emotionally unavailable men' before marrying David Craig.
The Real Housewives of New York City star Sai De Silva opened up about her obsession with “f--- boys” on her Substack.
“I remember my 20s like it was yesterday,” De Silva began, noting she was a “carefree, reckless" bartender who gave zero f----.”
'My Kryptonite'
Sai De Silva said she had 'zero interest in a monogamous relationship' while she was in her 20s.
“And then, of course, there were the men,” she shared. “Endless options. I had zero interest in a monogamous relationship in my 20s. I craved new adventures, and I knew I had choices. Meeting men felt like a sport, I friend-zoned most of them, but I loved the attention. But the ones who really hooked me? Toxic.”
The reality starlet explained at that point in her life, “emotionally unavailable men” were her “poison of choice.” Specifically, she liked men who “adored” her in person and then “ghosted her” once she was out of the room.
“I remember the exact night I met the most toxic man of them all,” she continued. “The one who was my kryptonite.”
She Wanted Him Because He Didn't Want Her
Sai De Silva claimed she was 'addicted' to 'someone who couldn't (or wouldn't) give me what I wanted.'
She recalled being out with friends when she accidentally spilled her drink all over a guy’s chest. When she offered him his next round, he said to find when she was “ready.”
“Oh, I found him alright,” De Silva said. “We spent the night flirting and laughing, and it was the beginning of my f---boy era. We had undeniable chemistry. Nights together felt electric… until I’d leave, and he’d disappear for days. I was confident, but I was hooked, addicted to someone who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) give me what I wanted.” The RHONY star said she realized at that point something was “off” with her, as she wanted him solely because he didn’t want her.
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'Neon Red Flags'
Sai De Silva said she 'ignored' signs and red flags that were present about a certain man.
“The signs were there,” she elaborated. “Neon red flags. But I ignored them all. That was the start of my toxic infatuation.”
They ended up going back and forth for years, leading to an “emotionally bankrupt rollercoaster.”
“He gaslit me under the guise of ‘support,’” she explained. “He dimmed my light, made me doubt my worth. He cheated. I cheated. We didn’t trust each other, we were just addicted to the toxicity. When we were good, we were a power couple. When we were bad, it was soul-crushing. I knew he was bad for me, but some broken part of me kept trying to fix him, to force a fairytale out of a flaming dumpster fire. I was running on a hamster wheel and couldn’t get off.”
The Nice Guy
Sai De Silva said she 'ended up with the nice guy.'
While experiencing this back-and-forth negative relationship, De Silva said “out of nowhere” a “nice guy,” who was “sweet," appeared.
“And you know what I did?” she rhetorically asked. “I side-eyed him like he was the problem. I told myself he was ‘too nice.’ That something had to be off (I definitely thought he was a serial killer). I had spent so many years believing that love was supposed to feel like chaos that peace felt… foreign.” She finally coached herself to snap out of it and give him a try.
“Spoiler alert: I ended up with the nice guy,” she concluded, referring to her husband, David Craig. “Thank God. But every now and then, the f---boy crosses my mind. Because as much as I hate to admit it… there’s still something intoxicating about the chaos I used to crave.”
