NEWS'It Fills Me With So Much Shame': Valerie Bertinelli Makes Heartfelt Apology for Ghosting a Date at 19 Years Old
Valerie Bertinelli reflected on ghosting a date at 19 and shared a heartfelt apology.
Nov. 22 2025, Published 2:33 p.m. ET
Valerie Bertinelli is opening up about a long-held dating regret that still weighs on her heart.
The One Day at a Time star took the opportunity to apologize on air to a man she stood up over 40 years ago. The confession came during a recent episode of The Drew Barrymore Show, where Bertinelli participated in a dating panel.
Valerie Bertinelli apologized for ghosting a date when she was 19.
"I'll be the first to release a confession that I have never told anyone before, and it fills me with so much shame," the actress, 63, admitted. "This happened when I was a teenager, okay? My confession is actually going to be a public apology."
Bertinelli, alongside panelists Oliver Hudson, Taye Diggs, and relationship expert Dr. Tiffanie Davis Henry, shared her regret about ghosting a man she had planned to date.
Valerie Bertinelli shared the story on 'The Drew Barrymore Show.'
"I'm so sorry for not showing up. I really apologize," she stated. "I know that I ghosted our date and that I was supposed to show up at a certain time and I didn't, and it's a really, really horrible thing to do to somebody. I think it was a really neglectful, unkind thing for me to do."
She continued, "I've never done it again because this haunts me to this day. I just want to say I'm very sorry."
Valerie Bertinelli said the moment still haunts her today.
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Bertinelli revealed that anxiety played a significant role in her absence that day. "I was too nervous, and instead of calling —obviously, there were no cellphones back then — but I'm not gonna give myself any excuses. I should've called him and said, ‘I'm just too nervous to meet you. I think I'm gonna not show up.’”
Dr. Henry asked about the feelings Bertinelli would have experienced had she shared her nerves. "That would've been giving away the secret of me not being the perfect people pleaser. And instead I pleased him less," Bertinelli responded candidly.
When Diggs inquired about her age at the time, she replied, "I was a teenager. I was 19."
"Oh, go easy on yourself!" the actor replied.
Valerie Bertinelli shared that she also experienced anxiety during that time.
After the emotional revelation, Bertinelli lightened the mood as she glanced toward the other panelists. "Okay, good. Can somebody else talk now?" she joked, hoping to shift the focus to the next relationship discussion.
Bertinelli's experience isn't unique. Host Drew Barrymore also recounted her own ghosting experience back in March, highlighting the pain of sudden radio silence in the dating world.
Drew Barrymore shared a similar experience to Valerie Bertinelli.
"I texted him and I was like, 'Lovely to see you again the other night.' We went back and forth twice and then he ended with 'ha.' And I haven't heard anything," Barrymore recalled. "It just happens. I don't know why!"
