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Jodie Sweetin is coming clean for real this time, admitting that when she claimed she’d kicked drugs, she was actually lying to everyone around her, reports PopEater. In her new tell-all book unSweetined, Jodie says she relapsed and kept working to earn quick money for her addiction.

“I was back to partying like I was at my worst, spending seven hundred dollars a week on meth [and] coke.” she writes.

She even reveals downing a bag of coke right before one of her interviews.

Jodie writes that during her sobriety college tour at Marquette University in Milwaukee, “I thought for sure that one of the professors would take one look at me and kick me out. But none did.”

Jodie explains that those who showed up just wanted to hear from the persona she had created by appearing on morning talk shows like Good Morning America and giving interviews to magazines, but that ultimately, she was in the middle of a relapse.

“The relapse started one day, just a few months after my GMA spot, when I got a random phone call from a friend who I used with and who occasionally sold me drugs,” remembers Jodie. “I invited her to my place. I was in an apartment at the time. I knew it was a really bad idea to invite her over but I wanted to test myself, I guess. We hung out, played cards. I told her I hadn’t done meth in a while. One thing led to another and just like that, I was back.”

But Jodie kept up appearances, making the rounds in the media to talk about her new, clean life.

“I was living a complete lie. But unfortunately, guilt doesn’t make you stop. I talked about growing up on television and about how great my life was now that I was sober… The little bit of coke that I had done before the speech wasn’t enough to make me forget how bad I felt for doing what I was doing. The guilt was eating away at me. I was struggling to keep it together, but no one realized that. I finished. They applauded. Standing ovation. Just how I liked it. And it was over.”

She continues on to recall going back to her room for just one more hit.

“I was just so tired. Tired of lying. Tired of pretending to be someone that I wasn’t. I took a deep breath and walked out of the lecture hall. I went back to my hotel room and buried my face in my hands. I couldn’t keep doing this. It had to end. But not today. I wiped away the tears and finished the baggie of coke.”

Sweetin’s book, written with the help of Jon Warech, comes on Nov. 3.

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