Ask Drita D'Avanzo: How to Deal When Your Ex Wants You Back

Hi Jaime,

Thanks for being a fan! We are in the middle of filming Season 5, so we will be back on air soon! Let's talk about your love triangle! Your reaction to every situation you’re in is all on how you look at it. You are crying yourself to sleep? Why? The way I look at it is the ball is in your court! You should be upset if your ex is still being a dick and your lonely BUT this is not the case, and I think your in a perfect position here.I think you’re in a perfect position here. You might think I’m crazy for saying that but you have a young guy that is crazy about you and your ex misses you and feels sorry for how he has treated you.

With that being said, you should be smiling all day and night. I know you are confused but don't be upset about it. It's possible your ex is just saying all this because you are happy and in a relationship, but it's also possible that he really wants to change and realized what he did wrong. Ask yourself—did your ex always say he would change and didn't? Look at the past and figure out if he is playing a game here? Do I think he is? I don't know. What I do know is that you are crying yourself to sleep and that is NOT what we want here. You obviously still have feelings or those tears would not hit the pillow, so you staying in the relationship you’re in is not fair to the guy you are dating right now either. I’m a firm believer in following your heart. Your heart tells you that you want to try and make it work with your ex. There is NOTHING wrong with that. You have a family together. I did it, and it worked. My husband DID change. He's not perfect but neither am I. You taking your ex back all depends on what it is he did to make you separate in the first place. Is it something you can forgive and work through? Was it so bad that it's not forgivable? Do you still love him? Now ask yourself about your young guy. Are you going to have a future with him? Are you in love and can't live without him? You will figure this out by answering all these questions and remember, you have a young guy crazy about you and your ex misses you and wants to change and be the man he should be. So with that being said, DON'T CRY! Smile and follow your heart.

This story sounds all too familiar! I think a lot of girls out there feel they lost there best friend to a guy they started dating, but for her to STOP talking to you because he would get mad is crazy. The way I look at this situation is yes, you should respond to her and see why she is contacting you. Maybe she misses you. Maybe she feels bad that things went left and you no longer talk. I know you’re hurt and angry, but maybe she is hurt and angry you told her boyfriend off! No matter how much you don't like your friend’s boyfriend or husband—KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! You will never win that war and only end up where you both ended up—not talking. If she asked you advice, you should give it to her as friends do but she obviously loves him. It doesn't mean you have to love him! I told my friend her boyfriend was cheating on her and she ended up forgiving him and not talking to me. So I’ve learned a long time ago not to get in-between relationships. Keep your friendship separate and if he doesn't like her talking to you then he can go f*** himself because that is her decision not his. My advice to you is to actually contact her yourself and talk about all the things that are bothering you and be honest. Her boyfriend may not appreciate your honestly, but I’m sure she will. If she doesn't, she does not deserve your friendship. I think it's important to get things off your chest and tell her how you feel. You never know—you might end up best friends again and get the apology that you deserve! Good Luck.