Hi Leonardo DiCaprio. How are you? A lot of people are really upset and sad and troubled and worried today for you because you did not win Best Actor at the Oscars last night. Honestly, it’s a bummer. You are the best actor of our time, really. But it’s ok, you can still look on the bright side. It’s still pretty great to be Leonardo DiCaprio today! Here are 9 reasons why:
1. You were the richest person nominated last night
They say money can’t buy happiness? Well you can certainly test that theory! Even Sandra Bullock’s $70 million dollar payday for Gravity pales in comparison to Leo’s estimated net worth of $200 million.
2. You rocked our socks off in The Wolf of Wall Street.
You deserve every award for that Quaaludes scene alone, but even if you don’t have a silly gold statue, you have received a lifetime of admiration and respect from your peers and your fans and basically everyone on Earth. You can’t put that on a shelf!
3. You’ll probably get even more female attention now, if that’s possible.
It’s kinda like pity attention but no one really feels sorry for you because, well, see above. But you’ll definitely still get some.
4. Jonah Hill will always be there to remind you how much he loves you.
You’ve got romance and you’ve got bromance. With Jonah, it’s like a human puppy dog who is so excited he gets to hang out with you at all times. Great confidence booster!
5. You aren’t John Travolta today.
No one is laughing at you today, we just want to hug you! Meanwhile, this guy’s taking a closer look at the script…
6. The Academy doesn’t care for fun, and you had A LOT of it.
You didn’t just lose Best Actor, The Wolf of Wall Street didn’t collect a single one of their 5 nominations. Now this might hurt a bit because you are also a producer and worked so hard to get that film made. But it just shows the Academy has no sense of humor. They don’t understand fun and orgies and fancy yachts. You had too much fun making this movie and they never want to reward that.
7. And hey, The Great Gatsby won some stuff!
You were in that movie and you looked amazing, so that’s pretty good!
8. You can get comfy again.
You can go back to wearing your slip on Vans and Kangol hats and you don’t have to wear those stuffy suits and tuxes anymore. Hell, you can go to an exotic location with a bevy of beauties as they say! Go ahead and treat yourself to an ice cream sundae, a massage, a new mansion, whatever you feel like today. Because you know why?
9. You’re Leo freakin’ DiCaprio.
You’re the king of the world.
…and you’ll get there someday.
Do you think Leo was robbed last night? What’s your favorite thing about him? How would you cheer him up today? Tell us in the comments below or on Twitter @OKMagazine.