NEWS911: Lady Gaga Reveals She Contemplated Suicide: 'It's Not Always Easy'
Sept. 21 2020, Updated 12:53 p.m. ET
Multi award-winning musician Lady Gaga has revealed how she struggled with crippling depression and the uphill battle she faced in trying to love herself again.
Speaking to Lee Cowan on CBS Sunday Morning, she revealed that since becoming famous, she couldn't be Stefani Germanotta anymore as everybody expected her to be Lady Gaga all the time.
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"My biggest enemy is 'Lady Gaga', that's what I was thinking. My biggest enemy is her. You can't go to the grocery store now. If you go to dinner with your family somebody comes to the table, you can't have dinner with your family without it being about you, it's always about you. All the time it's about you," she said in the interview.
Gaga also revealed that all the songs on her latest album, Chromatica, stems from some true part of her life, where she struggled with mental illness, trauma recovery and sexual assault.
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"There's not one song on that album that's not true, not one," she said, adding that the lyrics "pop a 911" refers to "the medication I had to take when I used to panic because I'm 'Lady Gaga.'"
The singer refers to that period in her life as "dark" and said that at one point she hated being famous, she hated being a star, and she felt exhausted.
"It's not always easy if you have mental issues to let other people see. I used to show, I used to self-harm, I used to say, 'Look I cut myself, see I'm hurting.' Because I didn't think anyone could see because mental health, it's invisible," Gaga explained.
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The successful musician also explained that she had suicidal thoughts almost every day.
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"I didn't really understand why I should live other than to be there for my family. That was an actual real thought and feeling, why should I stick around? I lived in this house while people watched me for a couple of years to make sure that I was safe," she said.
One of the biggest pitfalls of being in the public eye is that doing simple everyday things can be overwhelming. This also contributed in many ways to Lady Gaga's cry for help.
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She explained: "If I'm at the grocery store and somebody comes up very close to me and puts a cellphone right in my face and starts taking pictures, just total panic, full-body pain. I'm braced because I'm so afraid. It's like I'm an object, I'm not a person."
Luckily for music fans around the world, Gaga has managed to power through her dark days and come out stronger.
"I don't hate Lady Gaga anymore. Now I look at this piano and I go, 'Ugh, my god, my piano, my piano that I love so much. My piano, that lets me speak, my piano that lets me make poetry. My piano that's mine,'" she concluded.
