Chelsea Handler Reveals Why Having Kids Isn't 'That Great': 'I Smoke What I Want'

Chelsea Handler got candid about the benefits of not having children.

"You got me regulating my nervous system," Handler, 51, began in a video posted via Instagram on Monday, March 23, as she lay in bed, appearing to smoke out of a pipe.

"Trust me, it works. I'm a certified farm-to-table gynecologist. Why am I able to do this? Because I don't have kids," she bluntly told her followers. "No tantrums, no meltdowns."

The beloved talk show host bragged about how she can drink, smoke and nap when she wants because she doesn't have to "worry about a child asking me a ton of incessant questions."

"That, frankly, I don't care to know the answers to. Questions like, 'Why is the sky blue? What's the difference between the sun and the moon?' I don't know, don't they teach you that at school?" she said in the nearly two-minute rant.

"Where do babies come from? Not from me. And that's called planning ahead," she told her followers.

Handler then applauded parents who practice "gentle parenting" and make an effort to talk through their children's "big feelings."

"I have big feelings too and mine require traveling to Jamaica, Finland and Istanbul all in the span of one month," the media personality said, while sharing luxe travel photos. "So if you're like me and don't think you wanna have kids, don't!"

She ended her video by giving parents a shoutout for "doing the Lord's work," raising her drink to the camera for a toast.

"Kids. They're not that great," Handler captioned the video, which garnered a mixed response from fans.

"I’m about to have a kid you’re gonna make me cry," one user wrote, while another said, "We get it, you didn’t get pregnant🙄🙄🤣. My kids are about to have their own kids and you’re still gonna be going on and on about how good you planned it out, joint in hand, loving freedom lol. Yes I’m bitter about it."

"I have two kids and I love them to death. But I also love that you are so open about your choice to not have kids and why," a third added. "People who don’t want kids should not have them. It’s not good for anyone involved when that happens."

Though Handler never had children of her own, she opened up last year about taking parenting classes to be a better aunt to her eight nieces and nephews.

“I just wanted to understand the psychology of children to do a better job at whatever my role is,” Handler said during an appearance on the “Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky” podcast in April 2025. “They call me ‘Father’ and ‘Dad’ as a joke, but I am ... I could be a great stepfather. Coming in hot ... on the weekends, McDonald’s, Disneyland ... come in with all the fun stuff ... spoil them, take them shopping, watch their stupid TikToks that they want me to watch ... if they’re on the floor, I’m on the floor."