Revealed — The One Heartbreaking Reason Nicole Kidman Is Desperate to Get Back With Her Ex Keith Urban for Christmas

Nicole Kidman is secretly preparing for an emotional holiday reconciliation with her estranged ex-husband Keith Urban, with friends telling OK! she is driven by one powerful reason – their daughters' heartbreak over their shock separation.

Two months after Kidman, 58, shocked Hollywood by filing for divorce and ending her nearly 20-year marriage to Urban, also 58, the actress is now planning to reunite with Urban over Christmas, sources say.

The former couple – who cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for their break-up in documents released in September – pledged to provide a "loving, stable, consistent and nurturing" home for their children, Sunday Rose, 17, and Faith Margaret, 14.

But insiders say Kidman can see "no other way" to honor the vow except to reunite with Urban for the children's sake.

They say it is putting her on course for the "most emotionally complex holiday of her life" in December.

Kidman's decision to try and rekindle her romance with Urban comes after a turbulent period that saw him weather rumors of a brief romance with support act Maggie Baugh, which she denied, and Kidman's appearance at Paris Fashion Week with what fans described as wearing a "revenge" look to show Urban what he was missing and a visible "sadness" in her eyes. But with Christmas approaching, Kidman is now said to be intent on maintaining a sense of normalcy for their daughters despite the upheaval.

One source close to the family said: "Nicole understands how much the girls crave time with Keith, and she's committed to making that happen, even if it's emotionally tough for her." The source added Kidman feels "bringing everyone together for the holiday is the strongest way to help the girls feel grounded again."

Another family insider said: "The girls have had very little time with Keith over the past six months while he's been touring and they've been abroad with Nicole. They've been clinging to her throughout everything, and she feels she owes it to them to reunite everyone in the same home."

The holidays have long been central to Kidman's identity. Last year the family spent Christmas in Sydney, where Kidman said: "I like a hot Christmas – in both the weather and the meal. I'll spend it with my family, I'm not interested in material things. I want good food, good family and good health."

The Nashville home she shared with Urban was famously elaborate at Christmastime, and Kidman once said she apologized to neighbors for putting up lights in early November.

That nostalgia, another source said, has "stirred up a lot of feelings" for Kidman as she adjusts to life after the split. "Keith has thrown himself into touring and studio projects, and Nicole is determined not to let that distance affect the girls," the source said. "Even though she's hurting, she's firm that the girls will never feel as though their dad is turning away from them."

Some close to the former couple say tension over Kidman's recent movie roles – especially those involving sexual themes in the likes of Babygirl – had contributed to a strain in the marriage.

One said Urban had confronted her about feeling unhappy with the intimacy in their relationship, and Kidman had found those disagreements "exhausting and immature," sources said. Despite that, the actress wants to preserve at least a friendship – if not a renewed relationship – with her ex.

A longtime friend said: "Nicole is heartbroken, but she's never been the type to shut people out. She still considers Keith part of her family."

Her and Urban's divorce agreement names Kidman the primary residential parent, with 306 days of custody to Urban's 59, and outlines how holidays will alternate in the future. This year's joint Christmas will be an exception. Another source said: "This isn't meant to be a long-term setup, but she's convinced it's what the girls need right now. She's making sure friends and relatives are there too, because facing it on her own would feel far too overwhelming."

The source added, "Even with people around her, Nicole will have to draw on a lot of emotional resilience to manage it. But she keeps insisting she can cope – and it's clear she'll do whatever it takes for her girls."