Simon Cowell Has Small Penis Syndrome Says Sharon Osbourne

Word to the wise: don't cross Sharon Osbourne.

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Former boss Simon Cowell (the two worked together for four years when she was a judge on the UK version of The X Factor) had some nasty things to say about her in his upcoming memoir, Sweet Revenge: The Intimate Life Of Simon Cowell.

Never at a loss for a snappy comeback, Sharon fired back on The Talk Tuesday:

"He's wealthy, he's powerful, he's creative, he's got everything... but you can't buy the goods," at which she pointed down to her crotch.

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Small penis issues aside, why does Sharon think Simon harbors any animosity? Easy, she says she quit his show.

"He likes to glamorize, he loves attention, he loves all the publicity he's getting, and the thing is, nobody leaves Simon... he fires you," she said. "So when you leave of your own accord... he doesn't like that. Because he's the power, he's the big fish, so he has to fire you."