Simon Cowell: I'm Absolutely Appalled By My Behavior on 'Idol'
March 3 2010, Published 3:35 p.m. ET
Simon Cowell says he watches his shows back and realizes he has ''gone too far'' when he sees how harsh he has been to the unsuspecting contestants.
''There's many, many times where I've watched the show back and I'm absolutely appalled," he told America's Got Talent judge Piers Morgan, in an interview airing on UK TV on Saturday via The Daily Telegraph.
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''You do the show, you're not aware of what's happening in the room outside. You know, somebody just said 'My dog Lassie died yesterday,' I'm in a bad mood and, you know, awful, and you see it in that context, it's very, very difficult to watch.''
Simon said it was easy to get caught up with the mood of the audience. ''You become part of a mob and when you watch the show back you realize that you've gone too far,'' he said.
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He also admitted to not providing enough support for Susan Boyle, who suffered a meltdown after coming second in Britain's Got Talent, when she began to struggle under the pressures of fame.
He said: ''I don't think that for one second when I saw that (audition) tape that any of us suddenly went, 'What are the repercussions for her?'.
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''You actually assume, naively, that everything's going to work the way that she's wanted it to. And then in the middle of the live shows – and it was quite public – what happened is that she buckled under the pressure.
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''That's when you suddenly realize, 'I haven't thought about this person as a human being,' And it was a real wake-up call, I've got to tell you.''
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However, Simon shows his human side, admitting that he gave her the option to back out when he saw the strain she was under.
"I brought her into my dressing room on the Friday," he said, "and basically said to her, 'Look, I don't know what you believe you have to do or don't have to do, but you have a choice at this point and if you want to leave the show, you can still walk away, you know, proud for what you've achieved. But if this is too much, we're going to support you on this decision.'
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''But there was absolutely no way she was going to leave this competition and I made it clear to her at that point.
''I said, 'Susan, you've got to understand, you may not win this.' And she looked me in the eye and said, 'Simon, I want to compete, I want to take part in the competition. I want to prove all the people wrong who doubted me.'''