Hayden Panettiere Was Afraid She'd Get Blowback From 'Dangerous' Former Friends When She Released Her Memoir, Source Claims

Hayden Panettiere was reportedly concerned about facing backlash after opening up about some of the most disturbing experiences of her past in her memoir, This Is Me: A Reckoning.

Following the Disney star’s death on August 16, a source claimed that Panettiere "told people close to her she was nervous about publicly releasing details of her tortured past."

They added, “The actress was specifically concerned about publicizing the time a friend allegedly tried to set up a s-- session with a n----- male singer on a yacht when she was only 18.”

The insider said Panettiere had also expressed concerns about identifying the people involved.

“Hayden told her circle she felt she legally couldn't name her ex-pals in her book, and she considered these former friends to be ‘dangerous,’” the source explained.

Still, those closest to her “encouraged her to name names for accountability, but she was scared of the repercussions.”

Writing about the experience was reportedly just as challenging as opening up about it publicly.

According to people close to the actress, revisiting the “terrible experience” for her memoir was pure “torture” for the Nashville star.

She also reportedly “left out” certain details “involving famous people in Hollywood because she felt they were too disturbing to include.”

As OK! previously reported, Panettiere became emotional while recalling the incident during an earlier discussion about her life.

The Scream 4 star reflected on how young she was when the incident occurred and how her age affected her ability to understand what was happening around her.

“The fact that I was 18, even though I’d lived such a huge life and I thought I was oh so mature at 18 … scientifically, your frontal lobes don’t develop until we’re what, 25, 26?” she began on the May 11 episode of Jay Shetty’s podcast "On Purpose.”

“So even though I felt like I could make healthy decisions, safe decisions, I wasn’t capable of being fully aware of what was going on around me," she explained.

Once Panettiere understood that she was not safe, she said her entire outlook changed.

Panettiere recalled being far from shore when the situation took a frightening turn.

“I was quite literally out to sea," she remembered, adding the “shocking” circumstance rocked her to her core.

She said she had initially believed the boat trip would simply be a fun night out. Instead, the evening quickly took an unexpected turn.

“There were no hints of anything like that happening,” she said. “So it took me by surprise.”

“It was led by somebody that I had grown to trust and see as a protector and somebody who had my back,” Panettiere noted.

She said she was taken into a “very small room" and "physically" placed on a bed beside an “undressed” man who was "very famous."

According to Panettiere, the male individual acted “like this was just an average day for him.”

Panettiere said her instincts quickly took over as she realized she needed to get away.

"That lion in me, that fire in me … my hair stood on end and I became ferocious,” she said, adding that she went into fight-or-flight mode to get herself out of the situation. “I was like, ‘This is not happening.'"

She then ran from the room and searched for another place to hide on the boat.

“There was no jumping off and swimming away,” she looked back. “And there was nobody who was going to be empathetic to my situation. I realized that this was nothing new to them.”

The experience also changed how Panettiere viewed life.

“When you really find somebody that you trust, you hold on to them for dear life and you feel so lucky,” she went on. “So to be betrayed like that is just an awful feeling.”