NEWSOprah Winfrey Says She Never Felt Loved by Her Mother But Made Peace With Her Before Her Death
Oprah Winfrey opened up about her complicated relationship with her late mother, Vernita Lee, and how she eventually found peace.
Sept. 20 2026, Published 7:55 a.m. ET
Oprah Winfrey is opening up about her complicated relationship with her late mother, Vernita Lee.
During an intimate conversation on "The Mel Robbins Podcast," the 72-year-old media mogul revealed she doesn't remember feeling loved by her mother while growing up, or ever hearing her say she was proud of her. Despite the painful childhood memories, Winfrey said she was able to make peace with Lee long before she died in 2018.
Oprah Winfrey Says She Never Felt Loved by Her Mother
Oprah Winfrey revealed she doesn't remember feeling loved by her mother or hearing her say she was proud of her while growing up.
Winfrey candidly admitted that although she now understands her mother loved her in the best way she knew how, she didn't experience that love as a child.
"I know that I never felt it," Winfrey said. "I know that I was never shown it."
She added that she couldn't recall a single moment when Lee complimented her or told her, "I'm proud of you."
Oprah Winfrey Nearly 'Wrecked' Her Car Over Mom's Comment
Oprah Winfrey recalled nearly 'wrecking' her car after her mother unexpectedly claimed their family had plenty of love.
Years later, a seemingly casual comment from Lee left Winfrey stunned.
While the two were driving together in Chicago, Lee remarked, "We didn't have much, but we sure had love."
"I almost wrecked the car," Winfrey recalled, remembering thinking, "What are you talking about?"
The comment was jarring because Lee's recollection of their family life differed so dramatically from how Winfrey remembered experiencing her childhood.
Oprah Winfrey Remembers Being Punished for Reading
The media mogul remembered being punished as a child for wanting to stay inside and read instead of playing with other kids.
One childhood memory that has stuck with Winfrey involved her love of books.
She recalled sitting inside reading one hot summer day when her mother questioned why she wasn't outside with the other children.
According to Winfrey, Lee accused her of thinking she was "better than everybody else" because she wanted to stay inside and read.
"So I remember being punished for wanting to read," Winfrey told Robbins.
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Oprah Winfrey Learned to Accept What Her Mother Could Give
A lesson about seeking '10-gallon love' from people with a 'pint-sized ability' helped Oprah Winfrey view her mother differently.
Winfrey said a lesson she learned from Bishop T.D. Jakes eventually helped her understand her mother differently.
Jakes described people as having different capacities for love, warning against seeking "10-gallon love" from someone with only a "pint-size ability" to provide it.
Winfrey realized Lee might not have been capable of giving her the affection and validation she wanted, but she expressed love in other ways, including cooking for her family.
Oprah Winfrey Came to Understand Her Mother's Struggles
Oprah Winfrey came to understand how her mother's demanding work as a maid may have affected what she was able to give emotionally.
As she got older, Winfrey also developed a different perspective on Lee's life.
Her mother worked as a maid for much of her life, spending her days caring for other people's homes and children.
Winfrey said she eventually understood that by the time Lee returned home, she may simply have had little emotional energy left to give.
"By the time you came home, you had nothing left for me," Winfrey said of the realization. "I recognize that, and I forgive that."
Oprah Winfrey Made Peace With Her Mother Before She Died
Oprah Winfrey said forgiveness and acceptance allowed her to make peace with her mother long before her death.
Ultimately, Winfrey said she was able to make peace with Lee "long before she died."
Her approach was rooted in a definition of forgiveness she has embraced for years: "giving up the hope that the past could be any different."
Winfrey explained that continuing to wish painful experiences had unfolded differently can leave someone trapped in the past. For her, acceptance became the path toward freedom.
"You forgive for yourself," she explained.
