On April 21, Queen Elizabeth II will celebrate her 95th birthday. But a palace insider tells OK! that Her Majesty is approaching the milestone with mixed emotions.
"It's not the celebration she envisioned," says the insider, explaining that the postponement of Trooping the Colour — the annual event that socially marks her birthday — coupled with the current drama engulfing The Firm has left the monarch with a heavy heart.
"She's saddened that Trooping the Colour has been postponed for the second year in a row. But safety is her primary concern," the source says of the queen.
"Like the rest of the royal family, she's still trying to process why Harry and Meghan chose to attack the institution in such a public and embarrassing fashion," the insider continues, noting that the queen is also busy caring for her 99-year-old husband, who recently returned home. "Philip's very fragile at the moment. So she's trying not to worry him about anything — including turmoil involving the Sussexes."
And while the queen puts on a stoic face in public, "she's reeling from so much stress at one time," adds the insider. "It's a shame this has all happened so close to her special day."
Though it may be different than usual, members of the royal family are doing their best to make sure the queen's birthday is still memorable.
"They want to surprise her with baked treats, silly cards and handmade crafts from their children, which will surely put a smile on the queen's face," shares the insider. "It's fair to say that William, Kate and the kids are the biggest joy in her life at the moment. She just adores them and will surely be touched by all of their efforts."