Tana Mongeau posted a candid video on YouTube on December 29 detailing her mental health struggles, her relationship with Jake Paul, their wedding and more! The YouTuber insisted she didn’t want her fans to think it was a “hate video” about Jake, but described their wedding as “hell” and a downward spiral.
“I'm so unhappy with the way my relationship with Jake looks in the public eye and I've done so much pretending that I don't care what I do. So it's my fault,” Tana, 21, began. “I loved Jake so much, I still do but I did so much of being the cool girl and not caring because I wanted to do life with this person and I wanted to see them happy and thrive and I wanted to show them that there are people that will accept you for who you are.”
She continued, “I think I put so much of myself into Jake that I lost myself, and that's not his fault. And I'm not blaming him for that at all. It's just the reality. I don't regret it.”
Tana explained that she had a series of toxic relationships prior to dating Jake, 22, and described him as a “drug.” She told fans, “I loved who I was when I was with him so much that I kind of put on rose-colored glasses. I realized I would do anything to feel this feeling forever.”
The YouTuber then opened up about her Las Vegas wedding to Jake in June. The two made headlines for tying the knot only three months after dating. Many fans assumed it was a PR stunt. “Everyone thought it was for clout and fame and I think that made it so much worse for me mentally,” she said. “If the wedding was fake to me in my head, I would be in so much less pain.”
“The second that Jake and I got married, I just feel like everything changed. I think the second he said, 'I do,' to me, he was like, 'Now what?' I think mentally he was also over it. I don't blame him, but it left me clinging, trying to make this work,” Tana admitted. She then described her wedding night as “hell.” It was later revealed that Tana and Jake didn’t legally get married.
Tana also shared her true feelings about being in an open relationship with Jake. “I feel like an open relationship with Jake was him being able to have sex with a new b***h every night, which I am not blaming him,” she told fans. “I was the one green lighting everything because I just wanted to make him happy. And letting it kill me.”
The YouTuber assured fans her post wasn’t a “hate video” and that she is still in a relationship with Jake. “I always want to be close with Jake, no matter what. I shared one of the craziest times of my life with this person and we were a team and he made me feel some of the best feelings I've ever felt just as a person, but also some of the worst.” Tana said before adding, “Jake could f**king kill my whole family, I will always love him. I will always have a bond with him that I don't ever see myself having with anyone else.”