Mob Wives star Drita D’Avanzo is back to help with your problems! Check back every week for Drita’s distinct brand of tough-love advice, and you can even send in questions of your own! Just email firstname.lastname@example.org, or tweet @OKMagazine with the hashtag #OKAskDrita.
At 22 and 23, I had two sons with a man who ended up in federal prison when my boys were 2 and 3. I was thrown into the single-mother role. I made weekly visits with my sons, but after a few months I was getting lots of threats from him so I decided to cut all ties. I’m now remarried and blessed with 2 more children. My oldest is now 15 and has been saving his lunch money for 1 hour sessions at a rap studio. My sister has been taking him because he doesn’t want me to hear his lyrics. She tells me he gets a lot of anger out for his father with his music. I want to go and hear but part of me thinks I should leave it alone because this may be therapy for him. He did make a song for me and it was beautiful. I would love to hear him in the studio. He says he doesn’t want me to hear him curse. His father is now back in his life, but my son still has anger for him. Any advice?
Obviously you know that I am all too familiar with your situation, and taking my kids to a federal prison to visit their father. I’m proud of you for cutting ties and protecting you and your kids. That was the best decision you could have made. Not many women have the strength to do that.
Your son shows he’s an amazing young man. He saves money to do something that he loves, which shows he’s independent. He doesn’t want to curse in front of you, which shows he is respectful. He has some amazing qualities, which only means you did an amazing job being a single mom! I love that he is rapping and writing lyrics. When I was younger and I was upset or angry or going through anything, I would always grab a book and start to write. Writing is therapy on its own. It was for me, and I am assuming it is for him too. Rapping is a great way for him to voice his opinions and let out his anger! There are so many young boys that do way too many negative things to let out their anger, so this is wonderful. As a mom you should be proud of him for choosing this road instead.
If he doesn’t want you to go to the studio, then don’t. He wrote you a song and played it for you, so he obviously only wants you to hear what he wants you to hear because he respects you. That’s not a bad thing! It’s amazing. Eventually you will be able to hear everything, and as he gets older I’m sure he will feel a little more comfortable to share all his music with you. He’s doing what he loves to do, and at the same time is letting out his frustrations, practicing his talent, and perfecting his skills. All of this is positive for both you and him. One day you will be invited to the studio and it will be a proud mommy moment, so look forward to it!!!!!
What do you think of Drita’s advice this week? Would you let your song record music? What are some other ways to deal with this? Tell us in the comments below or tweet us @OKMagazine.