Erika Jayne & Tom Girardi 'Led Separate Lives,' Were 'More Like Close Friends'

They say to marry your best friend, but on second thought, maybe not! Following Erika Jayne and Tom Girardi's split after 21 years together, a source told In Touch they were "more like very close friends than husband and wife."

"Erika and Tom have led separate lives for years," the insider said. "She would go off touring and doing her own thing, and Tom would do his." During the coronavirus pandemic, the former flames "realized it wasn’t working during lockdown" — especially after "travel restrictions were enforced."

"The pandemic is having a mental impact on everyone, and Erika’s been reflecting on what she wants moving forward. Being married to Tom isn’t part of her plan," the source added.

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While "Erika is upset, and the feelings she has for Tom will never disappear," she’s "a strong woman and knows that she’s making the right decision by filing for divorce," the insider said. "She wants 2021 to be a fresh start!"

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star confirmed the news on Tuesday, November 3, in a statement. "After much consideration, I have decided to end my marriage to Tom Girardi," she told Us Weekly. "This is not a step taken lightly or easily. I have great love and respect for Tom and for our years and the lives we built together. It is my absolute wish to proceed through this process with respect and with the privacy that both Tom and I deserved I request others give us that privacy as well."

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She told Andy Cohen in 2017 that she does not have a prenup. "Let me tell you something, let me be very clear. I’m married to a very powerful lawyer," she explained. "A prenup wouldn’t stand in his way anyway … It’s gonna be all Tom’s way. I assure you. He’ll rip that piece of paper to shreds in two seconds!"

The couple met in 1999 when she was waitressing in Los Angeles, Calif. "After a year of working in the restaurant, one night I decided to slip Tom my telephone number," she recalled in her memoir, Pretty Mess.

After she gave him her number, the now 81-year old, reached out to her through his secretary. "I told her, 'Tell Mr. Girardi if he wants to take me out on a date, he needs to call me himself and ask me and give me enough time to prepare,'" she wrote. "You know how men are, especially if they are successful. They expect you to drop everything right away. That’s not how I work, I don’t care who you are."

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Girardi got down on one knee six months later.

The blonde beauty found herself defending their relationship often as her husband rarely appeared on RHOBH. "I’m tired of having to justify my 20-year marriage. Go get a 20-year marriage and then come f**king talk to me," she said on an episode in April. "It’s great to have financial support. But having someone’s emotional support is something that I wish I had more of growing up."