NEWSAllison Holker Reveals the 'Triggering' and 'Alarming' Moment She Found a 'Cornucopia' of Drugs Hidden Inside Stephen 'tWitch' Boss' Closet After His Tragic Death
Allison Holker said she found drugs inside Stephen 'tWitch' Boss' closet after his death.
Jan. 7 2025, Published 8:36 a.m. ET
Allison Holker revealed she found out how much her late husband, Stephen "tWitch" Boss, was struggling after he died by suicide in December 2022.
After his sudden passing, the dancer, 36, said she found a "cornucopia" of drugs, including mushrooms, pills and "other substances I had to look up on my phone" inside his shoeboxes.
Allison Holker said she discovered drugs while getting ready for her late husband's funeral.
"I was with one of my really dear friends, and we were cleaning out the closet and picking out an outfit for him for the funeral," Holker shared in a new interview, which was published on Tuesday, January 7.
"It was a really triggering moment for me because there were a lot of things I discovered in our closet that I did not know existed. It was very alarming to me to learn that there was so much happening that I had no clue [about]," she continued. "It was a really scary moment in my life to figure that out, but it also helped me process that he was going through so much and he was hiding so much, and there must have been a lot of shame in that."
While they were married, Holker, whose new memoir, This Far, comes out on February 4, said she would let Boss go into the guesthouse to drink or smoke, which was "his alone time," she said.
"It was his time to recharge, and that was okay," she said, adding they had "very honest" communication about his marijuana use.
The star took a picture while visiting the dancer's grave.
While reading Boss' journals, she learned that he was masking pain.
"He was wrestling with a lot inside himself, and he was trying to self-medicate and cope with all those feelings because he didn't want to put it on anyone because he loved everyone so much," she said of Boss, who hinted at being sexually abused by a male figure during his childhood in several of his journal entries. "He didn't want other people to take on his pain."
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"Reading Stephen's journals, and even going back into the books he had read and the things that he was highlighting and lining, really gave me a better perspective of where he was in life and the type of things he was struggling with," she added. "It did have me feel a lot of empathy towards him and sadness for all the pain that he was holding."
Allison Holker wants to share more about her late husband to help others.
Now, she wants to share Boss' story to help others who might be dealing with their own set of issues.
"It was really hard to put all the pieces together. Through certain discussions, even with friends and things that have been said, reading through his journals ... you realize he went through a lot as a child and never faced it," she said. "It's hard to think that he never opened up to someone and wanted to face it, to get through on the other side. I really hope people dealing with the same thing will help themselves out of the shadows and [know] you're going to be okay."
Allison Holker is now dating someone new.
Holker, who shares Weslie, 16, Maddox, 8, and Zaia, 5, with the late star, said she noticed that Boss, who was showering less frequently and smoking morning and night, was acting different, especially because his stint on The Ellen DeGeneres Show was about to be done.
"When I would think about my husband at the time, I would think, 'Oh, I love that tWitch is such a great performer, but then when he comes home he feels safe enough to be Stephen,'" she noted of his persona. "I was with him for so long, and that's how he's been the entire relationship. I was like, 'It's a beautiful thing that he can be both.'"
People interviewed Holker.
