PoliticsJ.D. Vance Admits He Was 'Obsessed' With 'Soulmate' Usha While Dating Ex-Girlfriend Mary: 'It's Unhealthy'
J.D. Vance gushed over his wife, Usha, in his forthcoming memoir, saying he met her while dating someone else and was 'obsessed.'
May 11 2026, Published 12:40 p.m. ET
Vice President J.D. Vance recently shared details about his early dating life and spiritual journey in an upcoming memoir, titled Communion: Finding My Way Back to Faith, set for release on June 16.
While Vance remains married to his wife, Usha, the book reveals a past long-term relationship and provides a deeper look into his controversial conversion to Catholicism.
“For a couple of years during and after college, I’d dated a girl named Mary. She was sweet, and she wanted the same things out of life that I did: a nice house, a decent job and a couple of kids,” J.D. wrote. "My family got along with her fine. No relationship is perfect, but nothing seemed like a deal breaker.”
J.D. Vance wrote about an ex-girlfriend named Mary.
“Still, I could never escape the feeling that, as much as I liked her, if she were to dump me the next day, I’d get over it quickly. Some are better, and some are worse. I could rate Mary on all these objective criteria, and she’s mostly great. But would I sob if she broke up with me? No way,” he wrote. “Isn’t that a problem?”
Vance also writes how he became “obsessed” with Usha while dating Mary.
“A few months after that conversation, I was still dating Mary – now long distance, from New Haven, Connecticut, where I was a couple of months into my first year of law school. I was walking late at night on an unusually cold and rainy fall day. New Haven is spooky in the fog, and the rain had emptied out the streets. And the whole time I was thinking about another student: Usha Bala Chilukuri," J.D. wrote.
J.D. Vance is married to his 'soulmate' Usha.
“‘Dude, I think I’m obsessed with this chick in my small group. It’s unhealthy,” he recalls telling his friend about Usha.
The Hillbilly Elegy author called Usha “smarter than everyone,” noting she had “the most amazing posture.”
“‘I will marry this girl,’ I told my friends. ‘Or I will be a lifelong bachelor,’" J.D. wrote.
J.D and Usha have been married for over a decade, having tied the knot in 2014. They met while attending Yale Law School and held both Christian and Hindu ceremonies. Despite rumors of marital troubles, she is currently pregnant with their fourth child.
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Usha Vance is pregnant with her fourth kid.
He has publicly expressed a hope that she might one day "see things as I do" and convert, though he emphasizes that she is supportive of his faith and they have agreed to raise their children Christian.
Usha, who has noted recently that she and her husband don’t always see eye to eye, was a registered Democrat until at least 2014.
She has since shifted her political affiliation, voting in the Republican primary in 2022 and confirming that she is currently registered as a Republican.
J.D. Vance gushed over his wife on Mother's Day.
Despite their differences, J.D. continues to gush over her as he did on Mother’s Day.
“This is a particularly special Mother’s Day in the Vance clan, as Usha is about to become a mom for the fourth time,” the vice president wrote on X. “We thought it would be fun to put out a little excerpt from my new book about the early days of our relationship."
“To all the moms out there, but especially to Usha: Happy Mother’s Day!” he added.
