NEWSMandy Moore Doesn't Understand Why She Stayed in Controlling Marriage to Ex Ryan Adams: 'How Did I Ever Find Myself in That Place?'
Mandy Moore is reflecting on her doomed marriage to ex-husband Ryan Adams.
The actress discussed her hardships during the new episode of Jesse Tyler Ferguson's podcast, "Dinners on Me," where she touched on how happy she is that she's healed from the controlling relationship.
Mandy Moore married Ryan Adams in 2009 and filed for divorce in 2015.
"It's so weird, because I think back to that chapter and it almost feels like it was someone else entirely that it happened to because I’m in such a different place in my life," said the This Is Us alum, 39.
"I’m married and I have children and it’s almost like, how did I ever do that?" she continued. "How did I ever find myself in that place where I allowed myself to be treated that way [and] that I viewed myself that way?"
The actress accused her ex of being controlling and emotionally abusive.
"That’s an entirely different person I don’t recognize, I don’t relate to [her] at all," the mom-of-two confessed. "I can’t even put myself in those shoes again, it’s strange."
Moore explained that she used to "belittle" herself in order to make people around her feel more "comfortable," which caused a "very unhealthy" dynamic in her marriage to Adams, 49, whom she wed in 2009 and filed for divorce from in 2015.
Moore is now married to Taylor Goldsmith.
Looking back, the "Candy" crooner believes the toxic marriage "was a direct response to my own parents splitting up... I found myself in a relationship with somebody that I believed I could make a family with."
"I was so heartbroken," the TV star confessed, "and it seemed like a perfectly appropriate time to get married and focus on this very personal, quiet chapter in my life."
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In the end, the relationship made her feel "hollow, empty and isolated," though Moore insisted she's "grateful" for the experience since it made her stronger.
In 2019, she and several other women accused Adams of using the same shtick, claiming he once offered to help them with their music careers before trying to make things romantic. Though he originally denied harassing several females, he eventually issued an apology in 2020 for his actions.
The star and her husband have two sons.
After splitting from Adams in 2015, Moore went on to marry singer Taylor Goldsmith in 2018.
"I feel incredibly understood and supported," the Hollywood beauty gushed in a separate interview. "I feel incredibly lucky to have somebody who is like, 'I got your back.' I found the right person and I feel like we can handle anything together."
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"My life has sort of taken unexpected twists and turns professionally and personally, but overall my journey is the reason I am here today and I feel fulfilled by everything that happened," she added.
The spouses share two sons together.
