'Melania' Gets Dragged by Critics: OK! Reveals the Most Brutal Reviews About Melania Trump's Documentary Film

Melania Trump's documentary film Melania has hit a new low, earning dubious distinctions from critics and audiences alike.

In a zero-star review, The Guardian's Xan Brooks described Melania as a "gilded trash remake" of Jonathan Glazer's The Zone of Interest with "no redeeming quality."

"I'm not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch and proffered like a medieval tribute to placate the greedy king on his throne," he wrote.

Brooks said two hours of the film "feels like pure, endless h---."

An earlier version of the review showed a one-star rating, which The Guardian has since corrected on February 2.

In a blistering critique published by The New Yorker, Lauren Collins compared Melania to "an OnlyFans account crossed with that meme of Kim Jong Un visiting factories."

"You can't exactly blame [Brett] Ratner for relying on a veneer of glamour. How do you capture a subject whose feet are more expressive than her personality?" she added.

She said the film was only successful in presenting Donald Trump's wife the way she wants to appear.

"We can only conclude that Melania portrays Melania in exactly the way she wants to be seen: as rigid, formal, solitary, dourly materialistic; surrounded by lackeys drafted into the closest thing to intimacy that she seems able to access; grinding through bot-like voice-overs filled with awkward gerunds and stilted exposition," she continued.

Deadline's Pete Hammond watched Melania on opening day "so you don't have to."

"Aside from looking like the whole thing was written and produced by her staff, Melania makes the cardinal sin of just being simply, b----numbingly boring, especially in the forever-taking last act of sitting through the inauguration all over again in eye-drooping detail," he wrote in his review.

Pete highlighted the "clearly choreographed sequences" of the documentary film, noting his favorite part was when the first lady did staged interviews with staff for job returns.

He concluded by noting how tone-deaf and out of touch the whole film was: "At any rate, if any of this sounds as compelling — as it seemed for the audience I watched it with for one hour and 44 minutes Friday morning — then go for it. It just feels to me to be a movie whose release is off-key with so much wrong in this country and this world in the year that has passed since it was shot. Melania seems a little too rich for these times."

To create Melania, Amazon reportedly paid $40 million to Melania's production company and invested $35 million to promote the film. Despite the $75 million budget, the film has been criticized as bland and uninspired.

"The film seems aggressively uninterested in exploring the terrain of its subject's mind — almost as if it exists as an object to justify its star's talent fee, not as a film," Variety's Daniel D'Addario, who said Melania is "primarily a film about a woman walking into and out of rooms," wrote in his savage review.

Melania received another one-star review from The Independent's Nick Hilton, who called the former model a "scowling void of pure nothingness in this ghastly bit of propaganda."

"Melania spends most scenes playing a staged version of herself, and shots of the first lady are composed with all the deliberateness Ratner brought to his work on X-Men: The Last Stand. This is somewhere between reality TV and pure fiction," he added.

He ended the review with a savage remark: "Whose truth it is, however, and where it's going, seems beyond the power of this captured documentary to reveal."

"Melania, on the other hand — a new documentary about Melania Trump, wife of President Donald Trump — is more like Triumph of the Shill. It is political propaganda at its most transparent — cynical, pointless, and very, very boring," Empire's William Thomas wrote in a one-star, no-holds-barred review for the film.

He informed readers about the documentary's lack of drama, tension and narrative arc, making it "all rather meaningless."

In addition to writing a withering assessment about Melania, The Irish Times' Donald Clarke panned the director's box-office flop overall.

"Never have I encountered a film so lacking in irony and self-awareness. One can only assume Ratner, he of the Rush Hour action flicks, was so bored by his own movie that his attention wandered fatally," he sharply criticized in his one-star review.