NEWSPaulina Porizkova Confesses She Couldn't 'Bare Waking Up' Every Morning After Finding Ex-Husbanad Ric Ocasek's Lifeless Body
Model Paulina Porizkova isn't sugarcoating the grief she felt after discovering the dead body of ex-husband Ric Ocasek.
The star is candidly discussing some of her most personal moments as she promotes No Filter: The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful, her book of essays that hits shelves on Tuesday, November 14.
In a recent interview, the mom-of-two explained that the death of the musician, who was 75 at the time, sent her into a spiral even though they had separated two years earlier.
"It’s not even so much that I thought about how to kill myself or when to kill myself," she noted. "It was just that feeling of, ‘I just don’t know how to go on. I can’t do this anymore. … I just want to go away. I can’t bear waking up tomorrow morning, being the same person with the same feelings. I can’t carry it anymore.'"
At the time, the 57-year-old was caring for Ocasek after undergoing a surgery, but once he passed, she learned he had completely cut her out of his will, claiming she had previously "abandoned" him. Feeling betrayed and overwhelmed, she decided to express her emotions via social media – and she received an unexpectedly heartwarming response.
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"So I, like a drowning person, was tossing out these little messages in the bottle of, like, ‘Please help, I’m drowning,’ onto Instagram," she recalled of her tearful post. "It turns out there was a lot of us drowning at the same time."
Fortunately, the star eventually turned the corner — thanks in part to another ex: Aaron Sorkin, 61. The two had a short-lived romance in 2021, but Porizkova revealed the screenwriter "helped heal me."
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"He was instrumental in me sort of regaining a sense of myself as a woman," she revealed on an old episode of People (the TV Show!). "So he was the one man — I love him for this... I asked him one day, 'Am I intimidating?' and he said, 'Hell yeah. Because you're beautiful, you're smart, and you're tall."
