NEWSHalsey Reveals Mac Miller's Death Gave Her 'Courage' To Leave A Bad Relationship
Singer Halsey revealed that Mac Miller’s death was a wake-up call for her to leave a toxic relationship.
The 26-year-old appeared on Dax Shepard’s "Armchair Expert" podcast and said that the rapper's accidental overdose in 2018 was a "turning point" in her life.
"This is a terrible thing to say because I think it puts a positive connotation on a heinously tragic event, but it gave me the courage and the faith to leave the relationship I was in," she said. "It gave me that real f**king reality check that I needed and I think it probably did the same for a lot of other people too."
"I was lucky enough to be in a position where I was like, 'Okay, cool I'm not ruining my life yet,' but I never would've expected some of the people that I know and loved and lost — to see them go down that path so aggressively and so rapidly. I kind of recognized the spiral early and was like, 'Alright, now I know,'" she added.
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The “Bad At Love” singer didn’t say who her ex was but explained that their relationship was hardly healthy.
"As a result, my currency of expressing love with them became doing drugs with them," she said. "There was a lot of infidelity in the relationship too. It was like if I don't do it with you, you're going to go do it with someone else and then probably f**k them and I'm going to take you back anyway because this is what we do."
As Halsey was struggling with bipolar disorder, the drug use and toxic relationship was difficult to cope with. "I'm a control freak and I can barely control my own emotions, and now I'm trying to control the emotions of a person who is not dealing with logic and reason the way that I'm familiar with," she said. "Now, I'm questioning my own perception of reality. I can't control myself, I can't control them. What can I control? Why am I even alive? What is even the point of anything? That was what the process was like."
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After she left, she was finally able to "get my own s**t together and stabilize my own self."
"One of the first steps of doing that was removing myself from a situation where there's a literal chemical interference," she explained. "I'm going to remove myself from that, figure out what my baseline is and then kind of fix it from there."
Fortunately, Halsey is doing much better now — she’s sober and takes medication to treat bipolar disorder, which "changed my f**king life." The singer was previously afraid to take antidepressants or other mediations because she was nervous they would "interfere with my creative process."
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After she began to take the medication, she learned that wasn’t the case. "I think I'm making some of the best stuff I've ever made right now because the dark stuff doesn't disappear, it's just easier to access at an arm's length now," she said.
The “You Should Be Sad” musician is adamant that she will not romanticize drug abuse and unhealthy relationships in her music, which she thinks Miller did well. Halsey was a fan of Miller because he wrote "with responsibility."
