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Allison Holker Reveals She is 'Still Shocked' by Husband Stephen 'tWitch' Boss' Sudden Suicide

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May 3 2023, Published 11:15 a.m. ET

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Allison Holker continues to mourn the tragic suicide of husband Stephen "tWitch" Boss.

On Wednesday, May 3, the professional dancer spoke with Hoda Kotb on the Today show about how she has dealt with the death of her hubby, who passed in December 2022.

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"I still feel like the rest of the world where I’m still shocked," she explained. "No one’s ready for that moment and there’s no one that saw this coming. No one — and that breaks my heart too."

She added that she was "so sad" that no one close to the late DJ, who was found dead in a hotel room at age 40, was able to identify his internal struggle. "He wanted to be the strong one for everyone, and I think that was a little scary for him to think that he might need to ask for help," she said.

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"He was so much love and light. He really wanted to be everyone’s Superman and he said that a lot," she recalled.

The couple, who met when they were on So You Think You Can Dance, created a beautiful family-of-five. The parents-of-three share daughters Weslie, 14, Zaia, 3, and son Maddox, 7. (Boss adopted Weslie.)

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"It’s really hard," she continued as she started to tear up. "There’s been some really hard conversations. To us, Daddy’s in the stars. So, we can go outside and talk to him whenever we want. … They just ask, 'When is Daddy coming back?' and that’s a really hard one."

"And then it’ll be a couple weeks later, 'But does he come back when he’s older? Like, when Daddy’s older he’ll come back?'" she added about her young kids. "But they are still children and still obviously want him here."

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As OK! previously reported, in a recent interview the mom-of-three described her coping mechanisms during this difficult time.

"It's now a part of my daily practice," she said about the cold plunges she does nightly. "Spiritually and mentally, it's really helped as well."

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Holker explained she has been trying to teach herself and her children "that if you're angry or sad, it doesn't mean you're a bad person."

"We're coping together, and that requires trust and being really vulnerable," she concluded.

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